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Feb. 21st, 2016 07:46 pm Cleaned like crazy today, with Light and Abundance's significant help. Hopefully soon many things will leave my house and more space will happen.
I believe I should keep cleaning, there are so many more things to do, but I'm sort of drained, the sort of drained that has somehow led me to look up people I oughtn't on Facebook. And the desire to read out kind of remains, I wonder how Lesson is doing, why he's where he is, I marvel at how old some of my boogeypersons have gotten, how unthreatening they look even if thinking about those parts of my life makes me a little sick to my stomach.
Things are slightly off, I feel like I can't find the right way to fidget, I want for something to sort, something to alphabetize, some small repetitive task (other than cross-stitch). I want to chew on my cuticles, or make elflocks in my hair. I want to unravel a sweater, unpick a seam. Nothing feels like the appropriate activity, not daydreaming, not crafting, not reading and certainly not looking at pictures of ex-friends. Maybe i'll try making a cup of soothing tea and reading more about Montessori models. Or try to write some emails. Or do homework. Or eat leftover cake. Or paint my toenails. Something, anything, for another half hour and then I can go to bed.
I believe I should keep cleaning, there are so many more things to do, but I'm sort of drained, the sort of drained that has somehow led me to look up people I oughtn't on Facebook. And the desire to read out kind of remains, I wonder how Lesson is doing, why he's where he is, I marvel at how old some of my boogeypersons have gotten, how unthreatening they look even if thinking about those parts of my life makes me a little sick to my stomach.
Things are slightly off, I feel like I can't find the right way to fidget, I want for something to sort, something to alphabetize, some small repetitive task (other than cross-stitch). I want to chew on my cuticles, or make elflocks in my hair. I want to unravel a sweater, unpick a seam. Nothing feels like the appropriate activity, not daydreaming, not crafting, not reading and certainly not looking at pictures of ex-friends. Maybe i'll try making a cup of soothing tea and reading more about Montessori models. Or try to write some emails. Or do homework. Or eat leftover cake. Or paint my toenails. Something, anything, for another half hour and then I can go to bed.
