(no subject)

Thank you, everyone, for the kind words.

I've sadly run out of cope and moved directly into panic without passing Go. We'll be fine for a while, the panic is all out of proportion, but sadly that intellectual knowledge isn't translating very well into anything emotional.

I'm beating myself for having been unemployed for so long (8 whole months) because if I hadn't been unemployed, I wouldn't feel like I had to summon such a giant amount of energy to overcome my inertia. Somehow, the premise that if I'd always been miserable, I wouldn't mind having to be miserable seems perfectly rational and reasonable.

I believe we'll be fine eventually, I believe I'll come to terms with whatever happens, but at the moment, I'm struggling not to beat myself up for feeling like I'm out of cope. I know I've got reserves to summon and summon them I shall, but right now I just want to drink tea and whine.

(no subject)

Thank you, everyone, for the kind words.

I've sadly run out of cope and moved directly into panic without passing Go. We'll be fine for a while, the panic is all out of proportion, but sadly that intellectual knowledge isn't translating very well into anything emotional.

I'm beating myself for having been unemployed for so long (8 whole months) because if I hadn't been unemployed, I wouldn't feel like I had to summon such a giant amount of energy to overcome my inertia. Somehow, the premise that if I'd always been miserable, I wouldn't mind having to be miserable seems perfectly rational and reasonable.

I believe we'll be fine eventually, I believe I'll come to terms with whatever happens, but at the moment, I'm struggling not to beat myself up for feeling like I'm out of cope. I know I've got reserves to summon and summon them I shall, but right now I just want to drink tea and whine.