"i wonder what i'm losing"

maybe it's that i see the house as some sort of impediment to the things i want, while fufilling the things that light wants.

because i am a little girl full of wants, and many of them require money we're not going to have.

i want a trip to the mystic aquarium and tampa's grave, i want to go to the ironhorse all the time, i want to have gone to the b&b in stowe, i want to go to maine, i want to visit lyric, or motion, i want to go back to boston and see the MoS and the aquarium and the MFA and eat decadent indian food. i want to buy new cookbooks and strange utensils and exotic ingredients and learn to cook them. i want shiny books and pretty clothes. i want to plan a trip to fly out and see Mech and Media.

and maybe it's time to look past that, but i can't remember why.

i haven't been posting, because i'm stuck on the question meme, 'cause they're Hard.

there are things i don't verbalize, either because i do feel sorry for myself and i don't like to add any more fuel to the fire of my own little internal pityparty, or because i've been told often enough that talking about the bad things without the edge of humor i try and use sounds like i'm asking for pity.

and i think in part it's that life's punkbeat me a little, and while we all have one or two tragedies tucked in our back pockets, there's some sort of implicit limit, so if you have more than three, you're either exaggerating, making shit up, or looking for the world to cut you some sort of woe-is-me slack.

short example, for those of you who won't read past the cuttag on my next entry. motion asked me about babies. and it's okay to say i've got a birth defect, or i'm an alcoholic, but to add in a genetic propensity for crohn's and cancer and my own chronic depression makes it sound unbelievable.

messy shit, indeed.

in other news, you should all come see my new couch.

"i wonder what i'm losing"

maybe it's that i see the house as some sort of impediment to the things i want, while fufilling the things that light wants.

because i am a little girl full of wants, and many of them require money we're not going to have.

i want a trip to the mystic aquarium and tampa's grave, i want to go to the ironhorse all the time, i want to have gone to the b&b in stowe, i want to go to maine, i want to visit lyric, or motion, i want to go back to boston and see the MoS and the aquarium and the MFA and eat decadent indian food. i want to buy new cookbooks and strange utensils and exotic ingredients and learn to cook them. i want shiny books and pretty clothes. i want to plan a trip to fly out and see Mech and Media.

and maybe it's time to look past that, but i can't remember why.

i haven't been posting, because i'm stuck on the question meme, 'cause they're Hard.

there are things i don't verbalize, either because i do feel sorry for myself and i don't like to add any more fuel to the fire of my own little internal pityparty, or because i've been told often enough that talking about the bad things without the edge of humor i try and use sounds like i'm asking for pity.

and i think in part it's that life's punkbeat me a little, and while we all have one or two tragedies tucked in our back pockets, there's some sort of implicit limit, so if you have more than three, you're either exaggerating, making shit up, or looking for the world to cut you some sort of woe-is-me slack.

short example, for those of you who won't read past the cuttag on my next entry. motion asked me about babies. and it's okay to say i've got a birth defect, or i'm an alcoholic, but to add in a genetic propensity for crohn's and cancer and my own chronic depression makes it sound unbelievable.

messy shit, indeed.

in other news, you should all come see my new couch.

"battered, but i never bruise"

So, I've decided to skip on one of motion's questions for the moment, because it is simply impossible to answer in any way that doesn't involve me being drunk, suicidal or some version of victim.

you've seen the meme, if you don't have your questions yet, it's simply because i'm still crafting them.

the ones i could answer are behind ( this )

"battered, but i never bruise"

So, I've decided to skip on one of motion's questions for the moment, because it is simply impossible to answer in any way that doesn't involve me being drunk, suicidal or some version of victim.

you've seen the meme, if you don't have your questions yet, it's simply because i'm still crafting them.

the ones i could answer are behind ( this )

for some reason, this makes me giggle

sometimes, reading light's journal, it's like we're narrating entirely different relationships.

for some reason, this makes me giggle

sometimes, reading light's journal, it's like we're narrating entirely different relationships.