(no subject)

[omnia_mutantur]

a little bit of emotional break tonight.

in the sense of crying until i actually couldn't really see because my eyes were too swollen.
i'm not exactly sure what it was about, maybe a little bit lonely, a little bit conflicted about light's job offer, a little annoyed at work, all balled up into hysteria. eventally calmed myself down, mostly because everyone i wanted to talk logged off. went out, ate at spoleto's express (i was that girl with the extralong scarf reading while i ate. the mystique's a little bit lost when you dip your sleeve in the alfredo) tried to buy light a present, then wandered around for a while. ended at B&N, and bought light a different present, chile a birthday card, and myself some Harney and Sons tea. came home, cleaned a little, and still feel disoriented, afraid that i'm going to wake up tomorrow and have somehow backslid five years into a place a lot less okay than this one. i know it's not likely, but my eyes and my throat still hurt and i don't want to go to sleep.

at least funnyface is really cuddly.

Comments

[ladylamia.livejournal.com]

maybe we should run away together. *L* two crazy girls that can't figure out what their problem is...

[omnia-mutantur.livejournal.com]

works for me. i've got good eats, csi and gilmore girls on the tivo. we can drown our sorrows in tea and chocolate and tv and pretend we're not thinking about what we're thinking about.

[bryiarrose.livejournal.com]

can i come too, since i'm yet another one pretending not to think about what i'm thinking about?

[omnia-mutantur.livejournal.com]

but of course. anytime.

[sivvy.livejournal.com]

mind another? *grin*
It just sounds like a good time. :D


I'm working on learning how to self soothe. I'm very poor at it. Any tips?

[sivvy.livejournal.com]

ps... why don't we have each other on im?

[omnia-mutantur.livejournal.com]

a) i'm wicked bad at self-soothing.
to the point where it's one of the intermittent focii of therapy.
mostly, i try and remember something that my therapist told me which helps a little bit, that i don't have to perpetuate the standards of care my parents taught me, that there's nothing wrong with me because i can't calm down, i just haven't learned to yet.

b) we should totally remedy that. email your IM name to the address i used to ask for an announcement?

[ladylamia.livejournal.com]

i'm sooo behind in replying to comments...can you tell? *L*

now that sounds like heaven even on a good day. i want to curl up in a blanket and watch gilmore girls all day and eat chocolate and drink mint tea...that would be a lovely way to spend a day!

[grackles.livejournal.com]

Ooh, I love some of those Harney teas. Sorry you're feeling down. :(

[strumpetone.livejournal.com]

i was online all day...didn't see you on?

you can call me anytime you know

[greylady.livejournal.com]

hooray for kitties.

I'm sorry you were drowning in sad. And who cares about the sleeve in Alfedo thing? You've enough mystique to carry it. :)

[gargirl.livejournal.com]

*Big Snuggly Hugs*

Aww, you poor darling. I hope today finds you coping much better. *hugs*

It'll all be alright, Sweetie, it will.

[grinninfoole.livejournal.com]

Self-soothing is hard, especially without chemicals. I'm glad you are getting better at it.

And do remember that you can call any time, for any reason.