"I’m old enough to face the dawn"
Jan. 12th, 2004 03:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
omnia_mutantura gigantic post, destroyed again my computer crashing.
to summarize:
talking about my weekend, of course. whining about the fact that the easiest way to talk about things is in a narrative manner, but my memories don't work like that.
i turn 28 this saturday. i'm not quite sure what i'll be doing for my birthday. suggestions are welcome.
i envy the way motion moves. a lot. and though i've almost certain she'd object, there's a certain amount of self-possession in her movement both on and off stage. onstage, it's just the only thing you see, (well, that and sex).
i have suddenly become terrified of moving. i'm hoping it's a moody thing, and it'll pass quickly, since i have seven to eight months to come to terms with it. but i don't want to come to terms, i want to be excited again. and while i'm incredibly excited about living with light, both in the sense of getting to wake up to him every morning, and in the sense of living cooperatively with him, i misplaced the excited about exploring somewhere new. and i think it is in part his current fascination with Seattle, 'cause while Pittsburgh and Maine have proven themselves to currently contain at least one person i'm fond of (hence the assumption there will be more) and i've friends scattered throughout both sides of MA, take me to the other coast and i'll be adrift. and since birthdays lend themselves far more to self-evaluation for me than any other yearly event, i'm realizing how much i've changed, and it's like looking down from halfway up a cliffside. i'll keep moving, my stomach just has to take a moment to stop churning.
to summarize:
talking about my weekend, of course. whining about the fact that the easiest way to talk about things is in a narrative manner, but my memories don't work like that.
i turn 28 this saturday. i'm not quite sure what i'll be doing for my birthday. suggestions are welcome.
i envy the way motion moves. a lot. and though i've almost certain she'd object, there's a certain amount of self-possession in her movement both on and off stage. onstage, it's just the only thing you see, (well, that and sex).
i have suddenly become terrified of moving. i'm hoping it's a moody thing, and it'll pass quickly, since i have seven to eight months to come to terms with it. but i don't want to come to terms, i want to be excited again. and while i'm incredibly excited about living with light, both in the sense of getting to wake up to him every morning, and in the sense of living cooperatively with him, i misplaced the excited about exploring somewhere new. and i think it is in part his current fascination with Seattle, 'cause while Pittsburgh and Maine have proven themselves to currently contain at least one person i'm fond of (hence the assumption there will be more) and i've friends scattered throughout both sides of MA, take me to the other coast and i'll be adrift. and since birthdays lend themselves far more to self-evaluation for me than any other yearly event, i'm realizing how much i've changed, and it's like looking down from halfway up a cliffside. i'll keep moving, my stomach just has to take a moment to stop churning.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-01-12 08:42 pm (UTC)Like a self-control thing?
It's funny, it took a long time of getting used to myself and being comfortable in my skin to get to where I felt movement expressed what was within, for me. As in, this result only really happened last year. I'm glad it's finally something I'm comfortable with.
Hm...sex. I wonder if that's something that would apply over video, or if perhaphs it's some sort of energy I'm calling up and it's only in person? Certainly..whatever it is that is interesting about me is lost in still photos, so motion is an important aspect.
no subject
Date: 2004-01-12 08:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-13 01:56 pm (UTC)I thought you, me, Light, and History were going to do something. Should I talk to History? I'm sorry...I got side-tracked.
S.