"weightless and slow"

 I'm feeling very fuzzyheaded these past couple of days.  Not sick, just some combination of anxious and numb that averages out fuzzy.  I've been glutting myself on queer romance novels.  I cross-stitch, I clean, I feel like I should be doing something helpful to someone, but can't imagine what that would be.

 

I feel like in this time of chaos, I should be putting a little more effort into figuring out how to engage with the platforms people are actually on (twitter, facebook, etc) but for the moment am going to stay here, the place where I've actually figured out how to mostly contain my insecurities, rather than places that I know for a fact make me anxious and full of self-doubt.   Long form for the win?  Maybe everyone will come back here?

 

I don't know what the right emotional response is at the moment, if I'm feeling enough or too little panic, or something entirely orthogonal to panic.  we've got what I assume is enough food, enough cat litter, enough sundries.   I've been socially distancing since my surgery, just for different reasons.   Time to get back into Lex to try to remember how to talk to people, half wanting to find something new, half wanting to practice in low-risk situations so when I actually try to talk to the real people in my life, especially the ones that make me blushy and flustered, I'll acquit myself with a little more chill.

 

Tomorrow, I'll make veggie shepherds pie and brownies.(I wish there were more people to cook for.)  Maybe tomorrow night, when Light's done with work, we'll hang some art.  Or I'll watch streaming opera.