(no subject)

 So, yeah, that plan didn't work.

Continuing to have hard conversations with Delight.  Spark is going to daycare soon, and the shape of everyone's life is changing because of that, and things go back and forth in my mind from catastrophic to a sort of *shrugs* because my feelings have been hurt before and will be hurt again and it's not fun, but it's also just kind of what happens.  And then I find out Delight's worried about this being relationship-ending and I wasn't anywhere near that but maybe I should be and I'm not worrying enough or in the right way.  Because I know that confirmation bias lies to me daily, and mugs me in a dark alley at least once a week, but maybe I'm making a mistake trying to advocate clumsily for myself, maybe I should just be trying to make myself into the smallest viable/most flexible shape.
 

Definitely spending the day behaving as though my back and my lungs hurt only a little bit is catching up with me in the end, and I didn't get anywhere near as much stuff done tonight as I would like.   I did load the dishwasher, and have a volunteer meeting, and poke at a draft of something, and unload the dishwasher and buy myself a Lindy West ticket.  So there's that.   Oh, and I bought cider to mull to at least make the house smell like I've been cooking.  .

For now, I'll also just settle for being able to breathe through my nose and bend at the waist.  You know, the little things.