"They want you to take the lowest road"

So, if I'm going to start doing this daily, I should start doing it daily, right?
 

I'm going to tackle all the half-thoughts in my drafts folder first and we'll see where it goes from there.  

In the process of moving, I at one point took down some art, put the tacks in my back pocket, sat down on them, stood up and moved them to my  front pocket.  

At some point, I exited a meeting and upon being praised by Light for not chewing anyone's leg off, I began to punchily repeat "low bar but I cleared it".  This was in part due to the length of meeting, but I think even more due to the fact that I had to stand up in front of a bunch of people and talk for a while.  Afterwards, I frantically chatted Light and Abundance to tell me I was well spoken and pretty and all sorts of other things, not realizing that there wasn't much internet and neither of them could see my frantic pleas.

I recently sent someone a message on slack that I think they're awesome and well spoken and I'd like to buy them ice cream (I've decided that I will use ice cream or chocolate as my drink-socialization substitute).  I now still have 5-6 people I want to send the same message to.   Not because I have a lot of time to talk to new people, but mostly because I want to be the kind of person who hands out metaphorical cookies to the people who aren't looking for cookies.   Though that's not quite it, handing out cookies implies a power dynamic and/or an ability to represent a slice of culture and I have neither.  I just think they have competent, articulate brains and should know that they are admired.

This seems like a perfect segue into talking about booze, yet again.  and I still feel like I've run out the clock on being able to have troubled feelings about being a recovering alcoholic, Like I should have found a better audience by now, found a way to make peace with twelve-stepping, tried to find my way into a SMART meeting.  (melissa ferrick once invited me to her AA meeting and tried to reassure me it was mostly not religious.  I did not go.)

Stress is hard, change is hard and sometimes, my brain wants to nope out of all of it..   

But instead, I should probably go back to making that list of doctors I've been refusing to call until I moved, because if I let myself off the hook and not call them until we're unpacked, it'll be another six months.  So instead, I'll rake myself over the coals until I call.