Hatching, collapsing, tumbling down
Apr. 1st, 2019 07:43 pm Another month.
Top five books of the month -
How Long Til Black Future Month by NK Jemisin.
Like all anthologies, there were some that were just straight up misses for me. The first story was amazing and gut wrenching and felt weirdly relevant. But I definitely want a harcover copy and discovering that they'll be writing an anti-lovecraftian NYC trilogy made me very happy and I would happily recommend it and be especially interested when I found out that someone else's favorites were different than mine.
Like all anthologies, there were some that were just straight up misses for me. The first story was amazing and gut wrenching and felt weirdly relevant. But I definitely want a harcover copy and discovering that they'll be writing an anti-lovecraftian NYC trilogy made me very happy and I would happily recommend it and be especially interested when I found out that someone else's favorites were different than mine.
This will be my undoing: living at the intersection of black, female, and feminist in (white) america by Morgan Jerkins.
Oomph. There's a whole side set of feelings about using the phrase my feminism will be intersectional or it will be bullshit, seeing as how Dzodan hasn't made a cent from the phrase. And I don't deserve any cookies for working on anything, I believe I'm aware of some of my privilege, I'm aware I fuck up, and I have so much work to do and this book was the most straightforward throat punch it could be. And i don't even know how to talk about it yet because while it taught me a lot, I also felt a little bit like I was intruding reading it. Which is good, it's a good way for me to feel while I'm thinking about these things. And it is so, so good.
Landwhale: On Turning Insults Into Nicknames, Why Body Image Is Hard, and How Diets Can Kiss My Ass by Jes Baker.
Haven't yet read things no one tells fat girls, but it's next on the list. I know my body image is super-toxic and I have no desire to pass any of it along to Spark or C or anyone. Which means it's probably time to start unpacking a bunch of why I still kind of think getting sick is weakness of will, none of the things that hurt should hurt, that I shouldn't assume ever malady is just because I'm fat, out of shape or a former drunk and heavy smoker. (Every so often, I just have this little twinge of wanting to be known by someone who knew me then just to feel like the progress can be seen. It's one thing for me to tell rueful stories about stubbing out cigarettes with my bare feet or waking up under a thin layer of snow, it was another to encounter me already or still drunk and weepy at 7am.) My body is not a failing supportsystem/cage for my brain and my heart or a way to show off tattoos, it's all actually part of me.
Haven't yet read things no one tells fat girls, but it's next on the list. I know my body image is super-toxic and I have no desire to pass any of it along to Spark or C or anyone. Which means it's probably time to start unpacking a bunch of why I still kind of think getting sick is weakness of will, none of the things that hurt should hurt, that I shouldn't assume ever malady is just because I'm fat, out of shape or a former drunk and heavy smoker. (Every so often, I just have this little twinge of wanting to be known by someone who knew me then just to feel like the progress can be seen. It's one thing for me to tell rueful stories about stubbing out cigarettes with my bare feet or waking up under a thin layer of snow, it was another to encounter me already or still drunk and weepy at 7am.) My body is not a failing supportsystem/cage for my brain and my heart or a way to show off tattoos, it's all actually part of me.
I need to stop thinking something will change if I can fit into smaller clothes, that something will make more sense if the number on the scale is smaller, that people I want will want me back , that I'll know what to do.
Finding Baba Yaga by Jane Yolen. A novel in poetry about Baba Yaga and an apprentice and it's sooo good with little slivers of queerness too.
The Aftermath by EK Johnston. At first I was all ehhh, it's probably only a 7 shading into 8. And then I realized I was comparing it not to all the books I've ever read, but to That Inevitable Victorian Thing which is a book that I liked so much it basically fucked up the curve. Comparing it to all the books, it's more like a 9. It's about the before and the after of a Magical Quest and it's queer and multiracial and all sorts of goood.
Top five dishes
Skillet black beans with mango salsa and coconut rice - This was really, really delicious. And the rice used half a can of coconut milk and the black beans used the other half, which I found a really nice detail, since I almost never manage to use the rest of a can of anything.
chickpea and fennel stew with prunes and saffron- Delight gave me some of their preserved lemons, and this was the first time I'd worked with them and they were awesome. I'm not sure how much the saffron added, I think of it as a subtler flavor and there was nothing subtle about the rest of the dish.
gingerbread pancakes w. disappointing lemon syrup - So good, even Spark ate a couple. The only challenge here was to figure ut how to determine when pancakes are done when the structure doesn't seem to encourage the bubbles to form on the uncooked side, and the molasses makes judging by color impossible. Fortunately, I like raw dough things.
jamaican jerk tempeh patties - oil-flour-turmeric dough stains everything it touches and these were absolutely delicious, but kind of high effort for low output.
nutmeg muffins - These involve grating an entire 1.5 nutmegs into the dry ingredients and they make your tongue feel kind of funny and I liked them a lot.
March summary
Agreed to be a divhead for con A, had a handful of meeting-like things about that.
Nonsense survived Abundance being first in Barcelona and then n DC for ages and ages.
Went to a movie night where we watched King Kong: Skull Island
Had a professional massage for the first time since last November (I think)
GLX surveyed my house in case it falls down when they start blowing up things or something.
Saw Captain Mavel
Impulse bought a five pound bag of clove hard candy.
Talked to Mech and Teach more about buying their house.
Went to a social thing at Boisterous' house.
Saw Peter Mulvey @ Sinclair
tried to give fewer fucks