"I don't know why you even try"

 I want to deep clean my house.  There are certain slants of light where I can see exactly how dirty the floor is, or cobwebs in the corners. I don't know where to start and I suspect somewhere on the internet exists the perfect schedule and if I was just better at pinterest, I'd know how to clean. 

I feel like this is a metaphor, but I'm not sure for what.  My head? My feelings about volunteering? a career path? my sexuality? my to be read list?

I know that sometimes starting is the point, rather than figuring out the right place to start but I'm still stuck in the kitchen looking at the gross cabinets and the mystery servingware that lives on top of them.