"just like every time the tide rolls out"

 The mood, it has not been ideal.   The thought "you're ruining everything" keeps popping up in my head and it's almost impossible to shout down.  And there's some sort of weird synergy going on, because normally that thought makes me cry, but Abudance and Light and I all went to Guardians of the Galaxy today, and I was crying about the movie at the end, and all of a sudden, in super-stark clarity my brain provided the "you're ruining everything."  So not only do I cry when I think it, when I cry I think it.

Clear as mud.

Need to make oatcakes for the Beltaine ritual tomorrow.  Need to wash dishes, make a grocery list, cook food, brush cats, read books, journal, cross-stitch, figure out how to integrate all the stuff I brought home from the office into the house.  Need to sort out the month, need to find the appointment reminder that tells me when my appointment with my psychopharm is tomorrow.  

Need to calm down.