"look to your victory songs, they sound the same"

Day one.

I should be more tired than I am.  I should be less anxious than I am.  I should be able to let go of more of my shoulds.

I had a good day.   I helped build a fence, I played with doggies that were very happy to see me, I sat in a hot tub.  I was in a fairly good mood, all things considered.   Yesterday I met with my trainer at 7am.  I had a swimming lesson on Monday.  I went to class.   I built a pillow fort with Abundance and made cookies for him.   I read a whole book in two days.   I went to the library.   I made an ambitious thanksgiving menu, which I will now share with you.

Tofurkey

caramelized onion gravy

goat cheese mashed potatoes

spiced whipped sweet potatoes with brown sugar

green beans of some sort

pumpkin parmesan biscuits

roasted brussels sprouts with pomegranate and hazelnuts

green salad

at least one kind of cranberry sauce (probably two)

chestnut and cider stuffing

mulled cider

apple crisp w/ ice cream

 

chocolate cheesecake pie

 

maybe one more dessert?

Earlier today, my mood went off the rails, and Light reminded me that setbacks don't mean I haven't been making progress or that all the progress I've been making has been undone.   Sure, I didn't manage to make it a whole week without crying, but I did make six days, which is the longest I've gone in a while.  So instead of the failure, I'm going to try to look at the success.  Or at least that's what I'm telling myself.