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No time like the present.
May. 28th, 2014 07:58 pmThe longer I don't post anything, the more I doubt whether or not I have anything of interest to say.
Life is good and complicated and hard. I have fallen down on a couple fronts, but have been feeling like I've been stepping up in others, and though I feel guilt about the balls I've dropped, I feel pretty good about the ones I'm keeping in the air. Cryptic much?
Talking with Abundance about lj, and journalling, and social media, I remembered that so much of what gives me mixed feelings about this space, and really any social media space, is this vast longing I have to be mentioned, to be in other people's narratives in some meaningful way. And it's a little bit about knowing I'm being read, and a little bit about knowing I'm real, and a little bit about feeling worth it, like people want to call out time they spend with me.
I've finally started pursuing a chest tattoo, and met an artist I liked, but didn't love. I was so very, very spoiled by the artist who did my back, who came up with a perfect thing from a couple print outs of trees and ironwork, and now all I can do is wave at my installations and say "oak leaves" because I still need to keep writing strength and endurance on my body, over and over again.
And I've found another small tattoo I want, a sea turtle on my foot, but I'm not allowing myself to get it until I get scuba certified (so probably in September. I'm trying to pursue taking swimming lessons, so I can start using that as a form of exercise, both to want to swim more and to find some form of exercise where I can enjoy myself, exhaust myself and not hurt my back any further.
Second semester of first year Latin class finished, and I've been taking gather here classes (I made a triceratops head and a pillow with a zipper this month) and I'm signed up for an Altered Books class at CCAE. Abundance has inspired in me a desire to take all the classes, and I'm trying to indulge myself as often as possible.
Now if I could only convince myself to stop reading fanfiction and cross-stitch more.
Life is good and complicated and hard. I have fallen down on a couple fronts, but have been feeling like I've been stepping up in others, and though I feel guilt about the balls I've dropped, I feel pretty good about the ones I'm keeping in the air. Cryptic much?
Talking with Abundance about lj, and journalling, and social media, I remembered that so much of what gives me mixed feelings about this space, and really any social media space, is this vast longing I have to be mentioned, to be in other people's narratives in some meaningful way. And it's a little bit about knowing I'm being read, and a little bit about knowing I'm real, and a little bit about feeling worth it, like people want to call out time they spend with me.
I've finally started pursuing a chest tattoo, and met an artist I liked, but didn't love. I was so very, very spoiled by the artist who did my back, who came up with a perfect thing from a couple print outs of trees and ironwork, and now all I can do is wave at my installations and say "oak leaves" because I still need to keep writing strength and endurance on my body, over and over again.
And I've found another small tattoo I want, a sea turtle on my foot, but I'm not allowing myself to get it until I get scuba certified (so probably in September. I'm trying to pursue taking swimming lessons, so I can start using that as a form of exercise, both to want to swim more and to find some form of exercise where I can enjoy myself, exhaust myself and not hurt my back any further.
Second semester of first year Latin class finished, and I've been taking gather here classes (I made a triceratops head and a pillow with a zipper this month) and I'm signed up for an Altered Books class at CCAE. Abundance has inspired in me a desire to take all the classes, and I'm trying to indulge myself as often as possible.
Now if I could only convince myself to stop reading fanfiction and cross-stitch more.
