(no subject)

Abundance gives homework.  And it's an amazing thing to do for me.  I've written emotionally naked essays, kept track of all of the things I hope to do with him in the coming days, come up with a list of ways I soothe myself/can be soothed and of late, I've been taking selfies every day and sending them to him.   Some days, the best I can manage is a picture of my awesome owl socks, but other days it's fine.   In the past month and a half or so, I've taken more pictures of myself than anyone else has taken of me in at least the past three to five years.   I've learned that the numbness that happened when I got nerve damage from wisdom tooth surgery has actually given me a slightly droopy lower left lip.  I've also learned the world doesn't end when pictures of me exist, and that bravery might even be a muscle that gets stronger with use.

And, lately, I not only send a picture of myself, but pictures of my adventures, the things I come across, the things that strike me.  And it feels like writing a love letter without words, saying over and over again "I thought of you here" and "I thought of you now".  And much like the daily goodnights, it makes me feel amazing and it makes me feel like I'm showing him the softest, least protected bits of me, where I admit how much I think about him, where I show him how the world works upon me.

so, yeah.  There's a lot of wow.