"so take the lively air"

I got my hair redyed today.   I got a new couch delivered today, and promptly started sobbing, because I'm almost entirely incapable of handling change. And I didn't know that I associated the old couch with Funnyface until the new couch arrived.   Something like the idea that people aren't completely gone until everyone who remembers them has died, but with furniture and cat hair.

I'm getting closer to actually taking steps to acquire a fourth cat.  I think (know) that Light would prefer we stay at 3 cats, and occasionally I harbor thoughts about wanting to get two kittens at the same time, but four is a hard limit for me and it seems the idea of waiting until another one of our cats has to leave us is another thing that will make me burst into tears.

I'm almost done with Mech's wedding cross-stitch, and I've already passed off Media's baby cross-stitch, and now I'm dithering between working on something that is pure amusement or starting holiday santas.   I also owe Hips a Fuck Cancer bookmark for a family member of hers, but I forgot to plot and print a pattern at work, so that will have to wait until Tuesday.   (there are rare occasions where I want a functional printer at home, but never badly enough to acquire one.  I guess I could go to the library and print it)

I'm back to chipping away at my 101 list.  Some of them obviously won't happen in the next year, but next up is organizing my books/papers/tshirt collection.  (those are three different things).    I'm feeling very purge oriented lately, like I want to shed detritus that isn't serving the purpose of making me happier or making me more myself.  (which is weird to say, since I don't think of me as liking myself, so why would I want to distill myself?).   In this vein, come the end of June, I will be donating all but two shelves the books that I own that I have not read yet, on the premise that if I truly want to read them, I'll get them out of the library, or acquire them in some other way.

I told R I was ready to stop having a crush on Bespoke tonight.  It wasn't entirely true.  The crush itself is actually still kind of fun and shivery most of the time.  I think I'd maybe just like an object of affection both willing and able to return my affection.   But maybe I'm not ready, maybe I'll never be ready.   I gave myself a small freakout today when Feste mentioned he has a hottub, because on the one hand hot tubs are not things I consider a  bathing suit necessary for, on the other hand, I think that by now Light, Hands, Hips and Unexpected have seen my boobs (well, them and everyone who goes to Healthworks at the same time I do.) and it's going to take a lot for me to be able to add another person to that list.   (another thing I said to R was that wearing a bathing suit in a hot tub was liking letting the mastectomy win, but that's almost okay because I totally kicked BRCA's ass.  or words to that effect.)

I'm sleeping on the couch tonight (Light's throat is sore and neither one of us want to be sick for the Totally Awesome Long Weekend we have planned) and all the windows are thrown open and I'm hoping there's a thunderstorm at some point, but for now I'm listening to Noisy sing to one of her toys and the train roll by and Moppet snore and there might be a lot of things I want, but there are also a lot of things I already have.