"And we are shining / and we will never be afraid again, "

Successful cookie-supplying, and Light bought us the sexiest electric kettle in the world. I had a brilliant talk with Kilt which involved me verbalizing a lot of owning my shit, and there was some lovely flirting.

One of the ways that I'm trying to keep my resolutions is to occasionally check in and ask myself if I want to be the person who... And sometimes it's positive, I do want to be the person who will do anything Purple asks. I do want to be a person who is a complete pushover for almost every dog or cat I meet. And sometimes it's negative, I do not want to be a person who leaves the dirty dishes or walking the dog to my stressed-out husband. I don't want to be scared of so many things, I don't want to punk out on going to the gym.

I still want to belong to things, to learn the injokes, to be sought out, to have the other kind of reputation, the kind that comes from the things I like about myself. But I also don't want Arisia (or anything/anyone else) to break my heart. So, where is the grey area between being open and being naive? Where's the place where I can remember that sometimes vulnerability is the best possible kind of strong, the best kind of brave? Can I tangle into these threads and still remember how to withdraw? Which are the right battles to fight, where are the good places to find comfort?

I'm a work in progress. I'll always be a work in progress, and fretting about it will only ever be so useful and reading will always be more fun than fretting. And Light cleaned the tub, so I'm totally taking a bubble bath tomorrow.

"And we are shining / and we will never be afraid again, "

Successful cookie-supplying, and Light bought us the sexiest electric kettle in the world. I had a brilliant talk with Kilt which involved me verbalizing a lot of owning my shit, and there was some lovely flirting.

One of the ways that I'm trying to keep my resolutions is to occasionally check in and ask myself if I want to be the person who... And sometimes it's positive, I do want to be the person who will do anything Purple asks. I do want to be a person who is a complete pushover for almost every dog or cat I meet. And sometimes it's negative, I do not want to be a person who leaves the dirty dishes or walking the dog to my stressed-out husband. I don't want to be scared of so many things, I don't want to punk out on going to the gym.

I still want to belong to things, to learn the injokes, to be sought out, to have the other kind of reputation, the kind that comes from the things I like about myself. But I also don't want Arisia (or anything/anyone else) to break my heart. So, where is the grey area between being open and being naive? Where's the place where I can remember that sometimes vulnerability is the best possible kind of strong, the best kind of brave? Can I tangle into these threads and still remember how to withdraw? Which are the right battles to fight, where are the good places to find comfort?

I'm a work in progress. I'll always be a work in progress, and fretting about it will only ever be so useful and reading will always be more fun than fretting. And Light cleaned the tub, so I'm totally taking a bubble bath tomorrow.