(no subject)

Thistimenextweek.

I'm desperately tired, I just watched most of an Irish horror movie about genetic experimentation on cows, I've taken an ativan, and nothing is sufficing to knock my mind off of its single track.

thistimenextweek

I don't like to ask for things. I feel like I'm too fragile for the inevitable 'no' and so I don't ask. Or I ask in ways that presuppose and even mention the possible rejection. "yes, I'd love to, but it's fine if you can't."

Here's me asking for things.

1. Bring us food, but don't feel slighted if I won't come down or want you up to say hi.

2. Think of me. Pretty much any electronic communication is welcome and heartwarming, even if I don't respond.

3. Be patient. I'm probably going to react badly to a lot of different things, some of which I won't know until they happen. I do, quite seriously, suspect it'll be years before I leave the house again. I can know that won't be true, at the very least I'll have to go back to the hospital, but fact isn't shaking my conviction.

And yes, I keep saying it in hyperbolic ways to make you chuckle so we can both just gloss over all the craziness.

This. Time. Next. Week.

(no subject)

Thistimenextweek.

I'm desperately tired, I just watched most of an Irish horror movie about genetic experimentation on cows, I've taken an ativan, and nothing is sufficing to knock my mind off of its single track.

thistimenextweek

I don't like to ask for things. I feel like I'm too fragile for the inevitable 'no' and so I don't ask. Or I ask in ways that presuppose and even mention the possible rejection. "yes, I'd love to, but it's fine if you can't."

Here's me asking for things.

1. Bring us food, but don't feel slighted if I won't come down or want you up to say hi.

2. Think of me. Pretty much any electronic communication is welcome and heartwarming, even if I don't respond.

3. Be patient. I'm probably going to react badly to a lot of different things, some of which I won't know until they happen. I do, quite seriously, suspect it'll be years before I leave the house again. I can know that won't be true, at the very least I'll have to go back to the hospital, but fact isn't shaking my conviction.

And yes, I keep saying it in hyperbolic ways to make you chuckle so we can both just gloss over all the craziness.

This. Time. Next. Week.