(no subject)

Things are seriously damaging my calm. My therapist offered me a second session this week, unprompted, I'm acquiring enough doctors that I could probably field a baseball team, I stayed home from work again today, because the idea of walking down to the busstop almost made me cry.

I cleaned drawers, I slept a lot, I finished Deadline, I did my PT exercises., I put dishes away. I mulled over things.

I need to be nicer to Light. I can't seem to keep a lid on my temper or a leash on my tongue and I'm sharp where I should be grateful, and I want to get in a car and play angry music very loudly and drive way too fast, but I don't have a car anymore and I can't even wash dishes right now, much less drive. I'm buying things I oughtn't, I'm sending emails that aren't getting responded to, but I'm also not responding to the emails I'm getting.

I'd like to cultivate more of an air of benign indifference this summer, with bouts of intense devotion toward a small and select set of people.

(no subject)

Things are seriously damaging my calm. My therapist offered me a second session this week, unprompted, I'm acquiring enough doctors that I could probably field a baseball team, I stayed home from work again today, because the idea of walking down to the busstop almost made me cry.

I cleaned drawers, I slept a lot, I finished Deadline, I did my PT exercises., I put dishes away. I mulled over things.

I need to be nicer to Light. I can't seem to keep a lid on my temper or a leash on my tongue and I'm sharp where I should be grateful, and I want to get in a car and play angry music very loudly and drive way too fast, but I don't have a car anymore and I can't even wash dishes right now, much less drive. I'm buying things I oughtn't, I'm sending emails that aren't getting responded to, but I'm also not responding to the emails I'm getting.

I'd like to cultivate more of an air of benign indifference this summer, with bouts of intense devotion toward a small and select set of people.