(no subject)

Not entirely cool with the current state of my health.

I stayed home from work today (again) because though I'm not particularly sniffly, nor do I have a sore throat, my lungs feel like they are full of fluid, and if I exert myself too much I end up with this hacking, kinda-wheezy cough. And while the coughing hurts like hell, the worst part is this weird feeling of things shifting inside my chest. I'm not intending to cancel any of my plans for this weekend, unless I take a drastic turn for the worse. I doubt that whatever it is infectious. It'll either get better, which would be awesome, or it'll get worse and I'll go to the doctor.

I'm not very good at going to the doctor. I don't want to seem like a complainer (whythehellnot, I don't know) and I believe on some level, all diagnoses are going to boil down to "You're fat, and you abused the hell out of your body for a solid decade. Of course you feel like crap" even though my current doctor hasn't given even the slightest indication she'd say something like that. And there's always that little bit of me that says "no one smokes that much and gets away unscathed."

Fuck you, lungs.

(no subject)

Not entirely cool with the current state of my health.

I stayed home from work today (again) because though I'm not particularly sniffly, nor do I have a sore throat, my lungs feel like they are full of fluid, and if I exert myself too much I end up with this hacking, kinda-wheezy cough. And while the coughing hurts like hell, the worst part is this weird feeling of things shifting inside my chest. I'm not intending to cancel any of my plans for this weekend, unless I take a drastic turn for the worse. I doubt that whatever it is infectious. It'll either get better, which would be awesome, or it'll get worse and I'll go to the doctor.

I'm not very good at going to the doctor. I don't want to seem like a complainer (whythehellnot, I don't know) and I believe on some level, all diagnoses are going to boil down to "You're fat, and you abused the hell out of your body for a solid decade. Of course you feel like crap" even though my current doctor hasn't given even the slightest indication she'd say something like that. And there's always that little bit of me that says "no one smokes that much and gets away unscathed."

Fuck you, lungs.