(no subject)

Well, it's coming to my attention more and more that this anxiety thing I'm doing is having deleterious effects on my life. Skipping a concert isn't the end of the world, and I've got perfectly good reasons for not liking driving in the snow, but...I really, truly thought I wanted to go when I bought the tickets, but when confronted with the slush and the kind of emotional conversations Light and I had been having, I bailed. I curled up on the couch, played costumequest, read some yulietide fanfic and then crashed out.

Now, I'm going to try to get on the treadmill, shower, make a pound cake, do an Arisia thing, visit a shelter and Chile, and then see if people want to come get fed tonight. Though I still kinda want to just go fetal on the couch with a cat and a trashy book.

(no subject)

Well, it's coming to my attention more and more that this anxiety thing I'm doing is having deleterious effects on my life. Skipping a concert isn't the end of the world, and I've got perfectly good reasons for not liking driving in the snow, but...I really, truly thought I wanted to go when I bought the tickets, but when confronted with the slush and the kind of emotional conversations Light and I had been having, I bailed. I curled up on the couch, played costumequest, read some yulietide fanfic and then crashed out.

Now, I'm going to try to get on the treadmill, shower, make a pound cake, do an Arisia thing, visit a shelter and Chile, and then see if people want to come get fed tonight. Though I still kinda want to just go fetal on the couch with a cat and a trashy book.

(no subject)

I've got a brown sugar pound cake in the oven, Light bought a nook, and my kitten is terrified of my winter-hat-with-ears. I bought a bunch of crappy candy for general distribution at con, I've reviewed the arisia schedule and found the two things I desperately want to go to, and I'm skimming the Yuletide fanfic and reading adorable Castle stories. Tomorrow night, Light and I take Media and his wife to Oleana. I'm pretty stoked.

I feel like I'm getting crazier, that language comes harder, that I keep trying to shape my life with resolutions that are hard to keep, even though I'm still keeping all the serious covenants. I'm trying things, and they're not exactly working, and it's hard for me to judge if that's because they never were going to, or if I should keep trying and just try harder next time.

There's a ten-days meme wandering around that begins with "ten things you'd say to people" and I freaked myself out a little bit thinking about it too long. I used to have a speech in my head to Asshat, that I'd practice if I felt like I was losing my grip on the anger and slipping back into melancholy. I think I could still hit a couple of the high notes if called upon, but I've forgotten most of it. I think that's a good thing, but I'm not certain.

So...ten things. Some of them are, well, a little miserable sounding.

1. You, dear lady, are a horrible manager. The center's not going to survive this.
2. i wish you were reading this. i miss you, i hate you, I wish I'd never met you, and I think I'm still in love with you.
3. I wish you'd move out here.
4. I hope you're happy. I kind of hope I never see you again, but I hope you're happy.
5. You are undiluted, concentrated awesome and anyone who doesn't know shouldn't get to hang out with you.
6. I wish we could go have monkey sex for a week straight, but I also kind of love you like a sister.
7. All joking aside, you're crazy hot, incredibly loveable, and she's a lucky woman to be with you.
8. Seriously, what the hell did I do to you?
9. You left me no choice but to believe those grapes were sour anyway, and I resent the hell out of that.
10. Without a hint of irony or sarcasm, thank you for saving my life.

(no subject)

I've got a brown sugar pound cake in the oven, Light bought a nook, and my kitten is terrified of my winter-hat-with-ears. I bought a bunch of crappy candy for general distribution at con, I've reviewed the arisia schedule and found the two things I desperately want to go to, and I'm skimming the Yuletide fanfic and reading adorable Castle stories. Tomorrow night, Light and I take Media and his wife to Oleana. I'm pretty stoked.

I feel like I'm getting crazier, that language comes harder, that I keep trying to shape my life with resolutions that are hard to keep, even though I'm still keeping all the serious covenants. I'm trying things, and they're not exactly working, and it's hard for me to judge if that's because they never were going to, or if I should keep trying and just try harder next time.

There's a ten-days meme wandering around that begins with "ten things you'd say to people" and I freaked myself out a little bit thinking about it too long. I used to have a speech in my head to Asshat, that I'd practice if I felt like I was losing my grip on the anger and slipping back into melancholy. I think I could still hit a couple of the high notes if called upon, but I've forgotten most of it. I think that's a good thing, but I'm not certain.

So...ten things. Some of them are, well, a little miserable sounding.

1. You, dear lady, are a horrible manager. The center's not going to survive this.
2. i wish you were reading this. i miss you, i hate you, I wish I'd never met you, and I think I'm still in love with you.
3. I wish you'd move out here.
4. I hope you're happy. I kind of hope I never see you again, but I hope you're happy.
5. You are undiluted, concentrated awesome and anyone who doesn't know shouldn't get to hang out with you.
6. I wish we could go have monkey sex for a week straight, but I also kind of love you like a sister.
7. All joking aside, you're crazy hot, incredibly loveable, and she's a lucky woman to be with you.
8. Seriously, what the hell did I do to you?
9. You left me no choice but to believe those grapes were sour anyway, and I resent the hell out of that.
10. Without a hint of irony or sarcasm, thank you for saving my life.