(no subject)

Left work in a daze today, the combination of throwing up yesterday, very little sleep, a migraine and my gums being infected again left me feeling like I'd been dropped off a cliff.

A couple of hours of sleep, a little cleaning, and finishing the awesome fantasy novel I was reading, and I feel a little bit better. I'm freaked out about Arisia next week, I'm freaked out about work, I'm freaked out about my mother-in-law, I'm freaked out about the idea of owning a dog and I might even be freaked out about turning thirtyfive in a little over a week. And I kind of don't want to go to my oncologist tomorrow. But it will, of course, all be good.

I'm starting to suspect that my emotional health might be even more tied into my house and the cleanliness thereof than I had previously believed (and I believed pretty strongly beforehand). But cleaning off the coffee table and doing a sinkful of dishes has totally chilled me out, and this isn't the first time it's happened. And I kind of want to unpack this, because I don't think it's just about having internalized a "Better Homes & Gardens could stop by at Any Time" attitude, and I don't think it's just because I think the Thursday night gaming group will judge me.

Nest, nest, nest. I've turned the heat up, I'm burning a stinky candle (honey & tea scented), I'm drinking my tea, and doing a little more Arisia work. Princess is curled up next to me on the couch snoring and I think I'll catch a little more sleep before people show up.

(no subject)

Left work in a daze today, the combination of throwing up yesterday, very little sleep, a migraine and my gums being infected again left me feeling like I'd been dropped off a cliff.

A couple of hours of sleep, a little cleaning, and finishing the awesome fantasy novel I was reading, and I feel a little bit better. I'm freaked out about Arisia next week, I'm freaked out about work, I'm freaked out about my mother-in-law, I'm freaked out about the idea of owning a dog and I might even be freaked out about turning thirtyfive in a little over a week. And I kind of don't want to go to my oncologist tomorrow. But it will, of course, all be good.

I'm starting to suspect that my emotional health might be even more tied into my house and the cleanliness thereof than I had previously believed (and I believed pretty strongly beforehand). But cleaning off the coffee table and doing a sinkful of dishes has totally chilled me out, and this isn't the first time it's happened. And I kind of want to unpack this, because I don't think it's just about having internalized a "Better Homes & Gardens could stop by at Any Time" attitude, and I don't think it's just because I think the Thursday night gaming group will judge me.

Nest, nest, nest. I've turned the heat up, I'm burning a stinky candle (honey & tea scented), I'm drinking my tea, and doing a little more Arisia work. Princess is curled up next to me on the couch snoring and I think I'll catch a little more sleep before people show up.