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Mar. 10th, 2007 10:31 pmSome days, I would really, really like to get over my fear of phones.
I'm not even entirely sure it's a fear exactly, though the idea of calling someone makes me sick to my stomach, so fear seems like a good choice. It's that I assume that I will be calling at a bad time, no matter when I call, which exacerbates my already large social awkwardness and so, in the end, I decide not to call, and hope that whatever social life I'm going to have can be orchestrated either by the internet or my husband.
An email telling me to call might seem like enough encouragement, for a more rational woman. I ponder the idea, contemplate calling, Light offers to call for me which is Even Worse, and then I tell myself maybe I'll call later. Or even later. To this day, I'm still astounded by the idea that social anxiety is a disorder, rather than something more like gravity or oxygen.
Instead, cocoa and Wow and egg drop soup and laundry and Jim Butcher novels and Mirrormask and knitting class homework. Not bad, of course, lovely in every way. Just not brave.
I'm not even entirely sure it's a fear exactly, though the idea of calling someone makes me sick to my stomach, so fear seems like a good choice. It's that I assume that I will be calling at a bad time, no matter when I call, which exacerbates my already large social awkwardness and so, in the end, I decide not to call, and hope that whatever social life I'm going to have can be orchestrated either by the internet or my husband.
An email telling me to call might seem like enough encouragement, for a more rational woman. I ponder the idea, contemplate calling, Light offers to call for me which is Even Worse, and then I tell myself maybe I'll call later. Or even later. To this day, I'm still astounded by the idea that social anxiety is a disorder, rather than something more like gravity or oxygen.
Instead, cocoa and Wow and egg drop soup and laundry and Jim Butcher novels and Mirrormask and knitting class homework. Not bad, of course, lovely in every way. Just not brave.
