"i kind of like it in here. it's private."

fell apart today. nominally, because it was snowing and we couldn't run our errands. strangely enough (sarcasm), there were three thousand other reasons. cancellations and conflicts, and unable to keep the many strands together or separate.

it makes perfect sense to feel less and less comfortable with most of my life, there's no question in my head as to why it's happening/happened, i only need to know how to make it stop now, or failing that, as i expect to, to minimize it to an acceptable level or learn to hide it, even from myself. hell, even my sentences are labyrinthine, though that's nothing new, it should come as no shock that everything else follows in the same vein.

i feel like i'm bringing things in closer, not just in terms of working on the house, but needing to figure out what i can play closer to the chest, and it's not like i've exactly been holding them at arms length to begin with.

i'm imagining this isn't an entirely bad thing, i just have to remember to find the more positive parts and dwell on them for a change. contrary to what i consider my nature, but i'm pretty sure i'm continually debunking my own myth that i actually have just one nature. i just have to start paying attention to my own proofs.

"i kind of like it in here. it's private."

fell apart today. nominally, because it was snowing and we couldn't run our errands. strangely enough (sarcasm), there were three thousand other reasons. cancellations and conflicts, and unable to keep the many strands together or separate.

it makes perfect sense to feel less and less comfortable with most of my life, there's no question in my head as to why it's happening/happened, i only need to know how to make it stop now, or failing that, as i expect to, to minimize it to an acceptable level or learn to hide it, even from myself. hell, even my sentences are labyrinthine, though that's nothing new, it should come as no shock that everything else follows in the same vein.

i feel like i'm bringing things in closer, not just in terms of working on the house, but needing to figure out what i can play closer to the chest, and it's not like i've exactly been holding them at arms length to begin with.

i'm imagining this isn't an entirely bad thing, i just have to remember to find the more positive parts and dwell on them for a change. contrary to what i consider my nature, but i'm pretty sure i'm continually debunking my own myth that i actually have just one nature. i just have to start paying attention to my own proofs.