"pinch me, won't you pinch me"
Oct. 18th, 2004 04:34 pmi got my cornbread french toast, and my History time. and walking out of Whole Foods, carrying our groceries in canvas bags, getting into his hybrid car, returning to our house which is powered by electricity we're purchasing from a wind plant to make a vegetarian dinner from a moosewood cookbook, i'm charmed by how crunchy we've become. i want to start volunteering once a month, and need to figure out exactly how to find someplace to do so. (sadly, my inability to tolerate people, and my nigh-pathological aversion to church-affliated organizations interferes with my intent.)
bananas go really well with lemon juice.
for all the people in my life that leave me clueless as to where i stand with them, i'm a very lucky woman, and have some very lovely people in my world. i made a fool of myself with an lj comment, but i'll chalk that up to one of those excessively effusive moments i have. i've weeded most of said moments out, becoming something almost like emotionally conservative, unable to see the benefit of risking rejection, but i forget sometimes, and chide myself afterwards. sometimes i strike myself as younger than i think of myself as, for all the ugly things i've done, i missed out on chunks of my social development, particularly regarding handling rejection or indifference, and 'fuck you all' serves well enough, but probably isn't the healthiest attitude.
i'm hoping this week proves to be less disjointed and misery-conducive than last. beginning with a cancellation doesn't bode well, but there's homemade marinara sauce in my fridge, and the makings for lasagna and chili, so at least we'll eat well.
i've fallen in love with a color named Cherry Cobbler, and i wish to run away with it. but in the end, we'd make a horrible couple, so i'll probably just try and accent a room with it.
i should probably stay away from funereal services in the month of my grandfather's death, and married couples altogether, until i get a little more centered, and a little more surety under my belt.
i dreamt about tampa last night, and he was sick and showing me around a house i'd never seen, and telling me about pieces of furniture i'd never seen, and in the dream, he was purring like mad, and i didn't want to ask him about it, because i thought (in the dream) it was some sort of symptom of the cancer. i wake to find the kitten curled in my armpit, purring like mad, and funnyface sitting next to my head on my pillow, also purring like mad.
bananas go really well with lemon juice.
for all the people in my life that leave me clueless as to where i stand with them, i'm a very lucky woman, and have some very lovely people in my world. i made a fool of myself with an lj comment, but i'll chalk that up to one of those excessively effusive moments i have. i've weeded most of said moments out, becoming something almost like emotionally conservative, unable to see the benefit of risking rejection, but i forget sometimes, and chide myself afterwards. sometimes i strike myself as younger than i think of myself as, for all the ugly things i've done, i missed out on chunks of my social development, particularly regarding handling rejection or indifference, and 'fuck you all' serves well enough, but probably isn't the healthiest attitude.
i'm hoping this week proves to be less disjointed and misery-conducive than last. beginning with a cancellation doesn't bode well, but there's homemade marinara sauce in my fridge, and the makings for lasagna and chili, so at least we'll eat well.
i've fallen in love with a color named Cherry Cobbler, and i wish to run away with it. but in the end, we'd make a horrible couple, so i'll probably just try and accent a room with it.
i should probably stay away from funereal services in the month of my grandfather's death, and married couples altogether, until i get a little more centered, and a little more surety under my belt.
i dreamt about tampa last night, and he was sick and showing me around a house i'd never seen, and telling me about pieces of furniture i'd never seen, and in the dream, he was purring like mad, and i didn't want to ask him about it, because i thought (in the dream) it was some sort of symptom of the cancer. i wake to find the kitten curled in my armpit, purring like mad, and funnyface sitting next to my head on my pillow, also purring like mad.