(no subject)

[omnia_mutantur]

i confessed to Light today that i sometimes believe everyone who has ever hated me, or even disliked me, has little meetings, where they sit around and hate me with intensity for about half an hour or so, and go on their merry way. which sounds so incredibly self-centered to type/say, but feels true, like hating me is some cherished, useful pastime, with craigslist announcements and a yahoo group. this is something i need to get over.

Comments

[tisana.livejournal.com]

I dunno.
Given how some of the people who've hated me have acted and coordinated, I'm not sure that paranoia is entirely undeserved. However, everytime I have odd thoughts like that, I can tell the feeling is starting to peak and fall when I have the thought, "You know? This would make a good story..."

Oh, I finally met thoroughbass last night. He tells me you introduced yourself to his parents as "Satan." This amused me almost as much as what he insists on calling you instead.

[sabine791110.livejournal.com]

You mean they don't sit around and have meetings?




On a more serious note, I'm morbidly glad to see that I'm not the only one who thinks that. It's reassuring in a twisted kind of way.

[omnia-mutantur.livejournal.com]

on the same twisted note, thank you for commenting. i thought i was the only one. or the only outpatient one.

[oya-yansa.livejournal.com]

I am absolutely, unstoppably convinced of this. It doesn't help that in high school my entire social group -- over twenty people -- conspired to keep a piece of information from me for almost a year, and that later there seemed to be a group agreement that I was the Bad Party Scapegoat, to the extent that I would hear from multiple people that something bad which had happened after I left a party was still my fault, accompanied by comments like, "We all agreed this was about you."

It also doesn't help that I'm slightly deranged. But these events haven't helped my paranoia any, and the people who dislike/resent me do all hang out together, so I imagine sometimes that when they meet for drinks it's an M-as-piñata party. I'm trying to get better about this, even though the flipside is accepting that they don't think about me at all.