omnia_mutantur (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
omnia_mutantur) wrote2004-01-22 01:23 pm
omnia_mutantur) wrote2004-01-22 01:23 pm
"stash them away in the pit of your throat"
and i probably shouldn't be listening to kris delmhorst's Five Stories for the first time ever right now, but i'm enjoying it even if it's making me melancholy. (and now i have to go purchase Songs for a Hurricane. and i'm getting closer and caving and getting the $40 public emily hoodie from http://www.bulletproofartists.com. and really, if i could, i'd go on a spending spree for clothes that zip up the front. or warm things, for that matter.) though now i'm browsing jewelry on the internet, and finding dozens of necklaces i'd like. *sigh* i wonder when i became so acquisatory.
i fell in love with the feel i'm getting from citrine, which Feline pointed out. so now i need to go find some to handle. but there's a pendant on amazon.com that's just a square of silver with a shakespearean quote. or an oval tag with the word survivor.
and being reminded of Feline's presence made me feel a little better, like i was being hugged. and 58hrs as well. and so i'm stable-r. though why i needed these things to make me feel better gives me a lot of food for thought. (what do i need that i'm not getting, which things to i have to be careful about making sure i get some of , gender and relationships romantic, intimate, online, etc)
and maybe it's time to up my medication, or try and distract myself with something, figure out how to write the novel that this lj's practice for, force myself back into writing poetry, start walking all the time, teach myself something. but for the moment i'm sitting at work, staring at my hands, wondering what it would be like if i could see the hurty parts, and thinking about what color different sorts of pain is. i'm pretty sure this is either bruise-colored or dried-blood colored. things like piercings, or really any needles are bright blue. cramps are orange. papercuts are a sort of pale yellow. headaches tend to be obnoxiously vibrant limegreen or lavender. tattoos are a sort of forest greeny.
fan-fucking-tastic night last night. (i need a language with more infixes) as soon as i chose a nickname, i'll post about it.
can anyone tell me anything about alix olson?
i think there are different ways to think about how the next eight months play out, and i need to find a couple of them.
emailing back and forth with junkyard keeps me smiling, and that's a good start.
i fell in love with the feel i'm getting from citrine, which Feline pointed out. so now i need to go find some to handle. but there's a pendant on amazon.com that's just a square of silver with a shakespearean quote. or an oval tag with the word survivor.
and being reminded of Feline's presence made me feel a little better, like i was being hugged. and 58hrs as well. and so i'm stable-r. though why i needed these things to make me feel better gives me a lot of food for thought. (what do i need that i'm not getting, which things to i have to be careful about making sure i get some of , gender and relationships romantic, intimate, online, etc)
and maybe it's time to up my medication, or try and distract myself with something, figure out how to write the novel that this lj's practice for, force myself back into writing poetry, start walking all the time, teach myself something. but for the moment i'm sitting at work, staring at my hands, wondering what it would be like if i could see the hurty parts, and thinking about what color different sorts of pain is. i'm pretty sure this is either bruise-colored or dried-blood colored. things like piercings, or really any needles are bright blue. cramps are orange. papercuts are a sort of pale yellow. headaches tend to be obnoxiously vibrant limegreen or lavender. tattoos are a sort of forest greeny.
fan-fucking-tastic night last night. (i need a language with more infixes) as soon as i chose a nickname, i'll post about it.
can anyone tell me anything about alix olson?
i think there are different ways to think about how the next eight months play out, and i need to find a couple of them.
emailing back and forth with junkyard keeps me smiling, and that's a good start.