(no subject)

 Yesterday, I spilled ink on a cross stitch I'd been working on for a while that is literally a unicorn saying Fuck Off Inner Critic.  I became furious at myself for not noticing that I'd left the ruler I was using next to an exploding pen in a cup of pens, and so "ruined" the piece with an unremovable smear of ink.   So while I didn't take that particular opportunity to request said fucking off, I'm hopefully going to hoop mount it and display it somewhere I occasionally see it.  Finished the piece I'm giving to a friend, need to try out a new hoop mounting technique on a piece I'm not giving away first and said unicorn was going to be the first try and that's delayed a least another day while it air-dries. (the gift says with a pretty floral border "What (and I cannot emphasize this enough)the fuck?")  I wish I knew more things to do with the product, the process is still most of the comfort, and I've wandered away from the endless Santa ornaments as I've wandered away from Christmas practices.  Ornaments seemed the perfect amount of commitment, they could be appreciated for a week or two, then put away so I wasn't obliging anyone to appreciate anything, and I'm out of baby and wedding announcement type occasions for the foreseeable future.  

I've currently only got one cross stitch piece on display, a giant Junebug and Darlin piece I worked on (I think) when I was still on bedrest back at the beginning of last year.  It says Stay Tender with a floral pattern and a piece of me wishes I'd done it in silver and purple instead of red and gold, it's a message I struggle with, a lot.  What's weakness, what's honesty, what's fluttering around on the ground like one of those birds that pretends to be injured to lure predators away from the nest, and what am I protecting and am I also the predator?

I actually said out loud in a meeting today that my dream was to babysit for the revolution.  Not like the revolution itself requires babysitting, but if anything is going to get overthrown, someone needs to take care of the kids of the people doing the overthrowing, so there's that.  I think I'm narrowing in on wanting to nanny or do something similarly childcare focused next, knowing that it won't bring the same sort of emotions that Spark does, but still thinking there's good I can do.  

Sad puppy in a post-spaying surgery cone remains sad and in a cone, and I'm definitely handling it worse than she is.  She's irrepressible, still wagging when we make eye contact with her, still wanting to play, but still not coping very well with her cone of shame (we tried an inflatable neck pillow but it turns out she's bendy enough she can still get to the stitches with it on) and I just want to be able to explain why we're torturing her and unfortunately, that's not how dogs work