"christian slater isn't a spokesperson for anything"

 Rebel deck:  You need a good fucking cry. Get the ugly cry on. Let that shit go. Your soul with thank you.

 

Well, fuck you rebel deck.  I do not believe that is what I need at this particular time.  I'm far more on board with the you need to get naked with someone instruction.  I'm not crying, beause if I was crying, it would be about how much I'm missing Spark and how I have all these complicated feelings that I have just shoved under the fucking floorboards and moved the heaviest piece of furniture on top of because I have neither energy or audience to deal with them.   Okay, maybe there's a little bit of a exposed nerve/dry socket there around my feelings about being neither fish nor fowl, or wanting to be fish but having to turn into fowl?  

 

New topic!   Today our car didn't start and our solar panels stopped generating energy.  I am actually spacing out what I'm cleaning so I don't exhaust all my options too quickly.  I made neither naan, seitan or horchata today, but there's at least a good chance I'll make rice and watch a Zach Hickman concert with Light.

 

I'm listening to Indictment by Nicole Blackman on archive.org over and over again. Spoken word from 1995.  It's so much an artifact of the mid nineties its breathtaking.  

 

I also deleted everything from my goodreads shelf that I added back in 2008, added the three books Im currently reading back in and am going to to add at least what I read this year tomorrow, or some future day.  We'll see if I add the approx 2,500 books on my books-i-remember-reading list.