(no subject)

I feel like I should have more goals at this point.  And successfully pulling off a multiconchair iteration of Primrose doesn't really feel like one of them.  Which might just mean I'm not actually a good fit for the job, but I'm so used to imposter syndrome I don't even know when it's legitimate feeling anymore.  

What do I want more of (other than the nice things that I've chosen animals instead of)?  Self-confidence (or at least the self-confidence to believe it's a reasonable goal to want to have self-confidence).  Books and tea and skills and sex and sleep and energy.  To find the right combination of psych meds, or at least one that fails differently?

Spark's daycare has an opening for an admin assistant.   I'm not sure it's a good fit for me, or that I want to try to for a fulltime job right now, but there's the bit where I'd be like three feet away from Spark for most of my week.

I feel like I'm too broken for full-time work now, but I'm not exactly sure what I mean by that.   Because if I can't keep up the same standard of cleanliness and cooking and equanimity while working out of the house 40hrs a week as I can when I'm not, that doesn't really seem like a failure (except that it does).