(no subject)

 Dashing something quick out while I'm waiting for the div head meeting to start.  Very loud people here already.  And of course, I'm at a loss for a topic and I left Baba Yaga at home.    I still feel pretty unclear on what exactly the job I've accepted is, but there is some cat herding and I can be pretty good at that. 

 

I cringe away from people who make sure everyone knows how important they are to everything, and I wonder why.  I know sometimes I dislike people because they have some trait that I'd like to have, but this doesn't seem like confidence exactly.  It's more obliviousness, and maybe that's what I want, the opportunity to feel like I'm not tracking all the moves all the time.  

 

I feel like i should be trying to go to more conventions if I'm really committed to this idea of returning/joining this culture.  And maybe Con B and PAX Unplugged are enough, maybe someday I'll return to the kinky convention circuit.  I signed up for the weird interstitial mostly-a-convention, but I'm already feeling a little leery and suspect I'm not the intended audience but I've had a long internal conversation about remembering I can take as much space as I want from as many people as I want.  Which I know I've already said, but will probably bear repeating every time I attend a meeting.