Sep. 9th, 2017

omnia_mutantur: (Default)
Day 1. (take two)
I’m more annoyed by my new laptop not having an indicator of whether or not the numlock is on than is proportional.
I spent the three day weekend mostly unwell, with either the world’s least contagious stomach bug (neither of the boys got it nor did anyone I know have it) or a reaction to something I ate.   Having now had food poisoning, I am no longer going to claim anything gave me food poisoning unless it’s Really Bad.   I was fine but slow on Monday, and fine on Tuesday.
Tuesday started the whirlwind (I remember thinking once that the word was worldwind and still type it that way sometimes)  I tried to write out the exact order but that just filled me with doubt, so instead I shall list all the things
Two cats to vet
Dog to nosework class
Dog to dogpark at least once a day, usually twice
Individual therapy
Couples therapy with Abundance  (which includes picking him up at work)
Couples therapy with Light (which includes picking him up and dropping him off at work)
Picking up both farmshares
Grocery shopping
Gym on Wed, Thurs, Friday
Meeting Starchild on Tuesday and getting to hang with Delight and Starchild on Friday.
Going to brookline to see Zoe Quinn speak
The usual cleaning/stitching/reading
Making cheesy bread pudding, the world’s most comforting carb
I’m definitely forgetting things, but that at least covers most of it.   And it still feels paltry compared to having to go to a paid job (I was going to say work, but at least a little bit of the above counts as some sort of work).  Hell, I even posted to facebook and watched some guilty pleasure shows while doing other things.
Other ongoing things: I keep picking at the problem of Light having his girlfriend over while I’m here. Our house layout is weird, and the bathroom I use and my closet are on the other side of the bedroom in which Light would be entertaining, and the idea of being cut off from my stuff makes me all prickly and bitchy, but I also don’t want to offer him the room that is my room/the guest room.  (significantly smaller than the master bedroom, so it wouldn’t be practical to move my stuff) for his overnight dates.  I don’t know what is a legit feeling, what i should try to be gentle with myself about and what I’m just being a jerk about.  (if i am being a jerk and you feel like you need to tell me so, please be gentle and do so in some other venue).   He and she seem fine with dates at her house when her husband is away, or hotel dates and Light has never told me he’s had a problem with me having my other partners over.   But maybe my ways of being poly don’t have to be one-for-one equivalent to his ways. 
Now that starchild is on scene, it seems like I have to start thinking about what happens on the other side of my year of nannying and the thought fills me with existential dread.  I’m not sure what I’m good at, I’m not sure what I’m good at that I can be good at without a cost to myself, I’m not sure what I want to do, I’m not sure where to start.  The boys tell me I’d be good at QA, I think I’d be an excellent office manager/den mother but only to the right group of people.  I dislike people but sometimes I want to do something direct servicey.  I like praise and being good at things, and it would be comfortable to find another job where I just had spreadsheets and data to keep track of and communicate.   I feel like I’ve already aged out of the job market and don’t know how to learn new technologies (see my inability to know how to have a relationship with twitter).  (that said I have developed a redditcrush on a commenter in the one subreddit i frequent)
I just bought a dog DNA test and purple ball jars on amazon.  I feel like this says something about my life, I’m not sure exactly what.  


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