"Don't tell me it's going to be all right"

Day 9.

Oh god, I think I might need to fire the dog. Sadly, she can't fire me.  (hopefully obviously i love her very much and would never actually fire her)

 

So, she’s been on chicken and rice for a day and half (and oh god did i hate cooking chicken), Abundance twisted his knee so she’s not getting her morning runs for the past handful of days, yesterday at the dog park she was a bully, today she just got into a straight up dog fight.  Is this her equivalent of toddlerhood?   I don’t know if it was her or the other dog instigating, but I felt just this crashing sense of doing something wrong. I don’t know the difference between good play and less-than-good play.  So I freaked out and left and now I never want to go back to the dog park.  And I’m not training her often enough. 

 

Today I have done dishes, gone to the gym, gone to my psych appointment, which was strangely awful, skinned and pureed peaches, gone to the dog park.  It never feels like enough, every sad day feels like a failure, like why should I have quit my job if I’m just going to be sad all the time, i might as well be sad and making money.