"To where our hearts are weightless and slow"

Yesterday Abundance, Light and I went on a whale watch out from the Aquarium.   It was amazing.  There was so much ocean and a humpback whale and wind in my hair and it was something so neat to be able to share with both of them.
 

It was one of Abundance's stopover visits, and I want them to be totally fine, I adore the idea of making his life more convenient, and getting as much of him as I can, which the little trips add to, but the short hops unsettle me. 

 

I have a problem knowing when to ask for something multiple times.    It's true with Abundance and with Light, I don't want to nag, but I also want to get what I want, and I know that if the first time I ask doesn't pan out, it's almost never that they're avoiding the thing I specifically asked for (despite my ability to concoct elaborate scenarios where they are in fact avoiding whatever it is because I should know better than to ask for hard things or even just things they don't want to do).
 

I'm feeling like a neglectful bitch of late, there are all these amazing people that I want to maintain friendships with, but I don't know how to make plans, and I feel like I've forgotten how to make conversation almost entirely, and I feel unreliable and boring and like I don't know how to extend myself.   In part it's the foot, in part it's the fear of Readercon, in part it's the moderately chaotic bits of poly.  and I don't even know what the rest of it is.     Which sounds like I'm not appreciating what is still here, which isn't it at all, I just wonder if I'm pushing the limits of everyone's patience, if not haven't already done so.