"to bang along the bars of her rib cage"

Feeling sad, and recalcitrant, and angry. Feeling overwhelmed and underwhelmed all at once.

Noisy peed on Light and the couch about fifteen minutes ago. She's in no distress, she's had no change in habits or diet or behavior. She was entirely unfazed about the experience, and after Light shooed her off, she jumped over the babygate and demanded we feed her.

I'm saying it right now. As much as I love having five animals, it's turning me into a shutin. I don't want people to come over, I'm always losing the battle against cat hair, and my house seems to me to always smell faintly (or now strongly) of cat piss, there are tumbleweeds in the corner and I'm having pretty much no luck forcing myself to stay on top of cleaning.

I might need to start micro-scheduling. Or installing more routines in my life. stop trying for adventures every weekend, pare down until I find something sustainable. Everything feels unorganized, behind, left undone. I used to be fanatical about organized bookmarks, email hygiene, piles of papers, to-do lists. I'm not cooking because the kitchen's dirty, I feel like I'm always at least ten minutes behind, running for busses, forgetting things on the grocery list, double-booking, forgetting to fill prescriptions, breaking my fingernails and bruising my shins. Every foot forward prompts eighteen inches backwards and finishing where I started seems like a good day.

And then the cat pees on the couch.

I'll rally, I always do. We're going up to stowe for our six year anniversary, and I'm intending to sit under a waterfall and buy too many things at my favorite farmers' market and not have any cell reception and it will be lovely.

"to bang along the bars of her rib cage"

Feeling sad, and recalcitrant, and angry. Feeling overwhelmed and underwhelmed all at once.

Noisy peed on Light and the couch about fifteen minutes ago. She's in no distress, she's had no change in habits or diet or behavior. She was entirely unfazed about the experience, and after Light shooed her off, she jumped over the babygate and demanded we feed her.

I'm saying it right now. As much as I love having five animals, it's turning me into a shutin. I don't want people to come over, I'm always losing the battle against cat hair, and my house seems to me to always smell faintly (or now strongly) of cat piss, there are tumbleweeds in the corner and I'm having pretty much no luck forcing myself to stay on top of cleaning.

I might need to start micro-scheduling. Or installing more routines in my life. stop trying for adventures every weekend, pare down until I find something sustainable. Everything feels unorganized, behind, left undone. I used to be fanatical about organized bookmarks, email hygiene, piles of papers, to-do lists. I'm not cooking because the kitchen's dirty, I feel like I'm always at least ten minutes behind, running for busses, forgetting things on the grocery list, double-booking, forgetting to fill prescriptions, breaking my fingernails and bruising my shins. Every foot forward prompts eighteen inches backwards and finishing where I started seems like a good day.

And then the cat pees on the couch.

I'll rally, I always do. We're going up to stowe for our six year anniversary, and I'm intending to sit under a waterfall and buy too many things at my favorite farmers' market and not have any cell reception and it will be lovely.