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"And it'll push right back"
Aug. 5th, 2012 11:29 amI love every single person in the world who has told me to wash my hair. I can't stress how much difference you have made, but I will bake every single one of you a cake. For real. Name the cake and the time and it'll show up. Name only the cake and it'll show up at a totally random time. Name the time, and you might be asking for trouble, since I'm currently coping with a delightful excess of things in my farm share I should eat, and none of them go naturally into cakes.
Once again, I feel like I'm slowly climbing out of something, and I want to speed up my process so very, very much. But I also know that experience has shown me that for me, the slow changes are going to be the more sustainable ones.
I have all these resolutions, some helpful, some not. I want to be more reliable, in general and in my correspondence and about going to the things I say I'm going to, whether or not I find any accompaniment. I want to lose less time to the slow continental drift of blog-reading/word game playing/fanfiction and use that time to read more books. I want to talk about the books I do read more, I want to keep the house cleaner, I want to keep track of more things, I want to go to the gym more, I want to chip away at my 101things/1001days list I'm keeping. I want to write more, here, in personal correspondence, in general. I want to be a better person.
And there are deeper things. I want to monitor my own language more closely, figure out what I'm doing that could be wrong, could be misinterpreted. If I want to try to step (and oh, do I want to) to issues of safe space and harassment and then step again to diversity and bias and helping Readercon become something the audience I want to love it can love, I think I'm going to need to do some research. If I want to ever really feel like I'm okay with the installation art I'm carrying on my chest, I have to decide if I want tattooed nipples or not, pick a way to think about it/talk about the surgeries/the results and try to weed it out of my conversation. I want to learn to be okay with occasionally wrong-footing despite my best efforts, I want to be less silenced by the fear I will misstep, and I want to learn how to learn from when I do misstep. And so, so many other things.
For today, I would also like to request cats that shed less, to be over this freaking cold, and gnomes to do all the filing I keep not getting around to.
Once again, I feel like I'm slowly climbing out of something, and I want to speed up my process so very, very much. But I also know that experience has shown me that for me, the slow changes are going to be the more sustainable ones.
I have all these resolutions, some helpful, some not. I want to be more reliable, in general and in my correspondence and about going to the things I say I'm going to, whether or not I find any accompaniment. I want to lose less time to the slow continental drift of blog-reading/word game playing/fanfiction and use that time to read more books. I want to talk about the books I do read more, I want to keep the house cleaner, I want to keep track of more things, I want to go to the gym more, I want to chip away at my 101things/1001days list I'm keeping. I want to write more, here, in personal correspondence, in general. I want to be a better person.
And there are deeper things. I want to monitor my own language more closely, figure out what I'm doing that could be wrong, could be misinterpreted. If I want to try to step (and oh, do I want to) to issues of safe space and harassment and then step again to diversity and bias and helping Readercon become something the audience I want to love it can love, I think I'm going to need to do some research. If I want to ever really feel like I'm okay with the installation art I'm carrying on my chest, I have to decide if I want tattooed nipples or not, pick a way to think about it/talk about the surgeries/the results and try to weed it out of my conversation. I want to learn to be okay with occasionally wrong-footing despite my best efforts, I want to be less silenced by the fear I will misstep, and I want to learn how to learn from when I do misstep. And so, so many other things.
For today, I would also like to request cats that shed less, to be over this freaking cold, and gnomes to do all the filing I keep not getting around to.
