"As in nature, as in art, so in grace"

Excitement of the day: I bought new plates. They're a little cutesy, they've got a bird on them. But, sometimes, spending my feelings actually works.

I'm continuing to practice trying to believe the best of people. It's not working out awesomely for me, I'm not very good at it, but I also need to practice being disappointed, and having that just be a thing that happens, rather than the end of the world, or proof that I have hideous judgement, or that I'm not worth enough in the general or the specific.

Note to self - other people's opinions and my feelings about them? Still an area of concern.

But I did get the jewelry put back in my bits this week, I haven't punched any coworkers, I've been to the gym, I took a sick day and watched a whole lot of hulu. I had a fantastic weekend with J&S, I went to the doctor, the cats went to the vet. I bought my sister-in-law's birthday presents and a sparkly purple belt at TJ Maxx.

I'm still flailing around for a belief structure. I feel like I just keep falling off the horse, freaking out, trying to get back on, and then finding out I've actually been trying to ride a dinosaur or a coffee table. (oh, let's extend this metaphor until it screams). I'm feeling illsuited to a lot of different things, and part of it is just an extension of whatever relief that came back from Hawaii with me. I might still want to outsource all sorts of affirmation, I might be picking badly, but there are still sea turtles, and people with whom I can joyfully spend a week on an island with, and still want to repeat the experience.

Be awesome, Omnia. Then be more awesome. Then adopt more animals, cook more tasty things, read more books, walk more places, see more things you haven't seen before. Make lists, make more lists, clean things, clean other things, write postcards, then cards, then letters. Find grace without god, sobriety without twelvestepping, comfort within the confines of your skin, the right questions even when or especially when they don't have answers. Drink more water, find words that mean something, then find more words. Write whatever the hell you need to on your body, in ink and jewelry and hairdye.

"As in nature, as in art, so in grace"

Excitement of the day: I bought new plates. They're a little cutesy, they've got a bird on them. But, sometimes, spending my feelings actually works.

I'm continuing to practice trying to believe the best of people. It's not working out awesomely for me, I'm not very good at it, but I also need to practice being disappointed, and having that just be a thing that happens, rather than the end of the world, or proof that I have hideous judgement, or that I'm not worth enough in the general or the specific.

Note to self - other people's opinions and my feelings about them? Still an area of concern.

But I did get the jewelry put back in my bits this week, I haven't punched any coworkers, I've been to the gym, I took a sick day and watched a whole lot of hulu. I had a fantastic weekend with J&S, I went to the doctor, the cats went to the vet. I bought my sister-in-law's birthday presents and a sparkly purple belt at TJ Maxx.

I'm still flailing around for a belief structure. I feel like I just keep falling off the horse, freaking out, trying to get back on, and then finding out I've actually been trying to ride a dinosaur or a coffee table. (oh, let's extend this metaphor until it screams). I'm feeling illsuited to a lot of different things, and part of it is just an extension of whatever relief that came back from Hawaii with me. I might still want to outsource all sorts of affirmation, I might be picking badly, but there are still sea turtles, and people with whom I can joyfully spend a week on an island with, and still want to repeat the experience.

Be awesome, Omnia. Then be more awesome. Then adopt more animals, cook more tasty things, read more books, walk more places, see more things you haven't seen before. Make lists, make more lists, clean things, clean other things, write postcards, then cards, then letters. Find grace without god, sobriety without twelvestepping, comfort within the confines of your skin, the right questions even when or especially when they don't have answers. Drink more water, find words that mean something, then find more words. Write whatever the hell you need to on your body, in ink and jewelry and hairdye.