"cause she's liable to grow up mean"

I'm newly fascinated with the origins of my desires to not be messy, to not be needy.

I wrote this down in my calendar today "to go quietly along with this marvelous business of being an adult" and now I'm trying to figure out why quietly? won't all the other adverbs fit just as well. (well, not all).

I find virtue in simply doing what needs to be done and trying not to draw too much attention to myself. Maybe I think there's a reward for being stoic eventually? That some day someone will look at me and say "Omnia, I am quite smitten with your dogged determination" and be my friend forever?

I know that I try to mute in myself the qualities I find annoying in others. I know that all the writings of previous iterations of self embarrass me horribly. I know that I still believe that everyone finds me an exceptional high maintenance person (for lo, I love conversation), and I try to temper that.

But still, why quietly?

"cause she's liable to grow up mean"

I'm newly fascinated with the origins of my desires to not be messy, to not be needy.

I wrote this down in my calendar today "to go quietly along with this marvelous business of being an adult" and now I'm trying to figure out why quietly? won't all the other adverbs fit just as well. (well, not all).

I find virtue in simply doing what needs to be done and trying not to draw too much attention to myself. Maybe I think there's a reward for being stoic eventually? That some day someone will look at me and say "Omnia, I am quite smitten with your dogged determination" and be my friend forever?

I know that I try to mute in myself the qualities I find annoying in others. I know that all the writings of previous iterations of self embarrass me horribly. I know that I still believe that everyone finds me an exceptional high maintenance person (for lo, I love conversation), and I try to temper that.

But still, why quietly?