"I wish peace of mind was something I could steal"

I'm having a grrr sort of day. Yesterday, I pulled off a miraculous thing and today my boss praised me for it, and somehow I wanted something more than that and I don't know what it is and it's making me fussy.

I have a ticket to go to at the Brattle tonight that I'm not feeling super-motivated about. I think it's possibly because while I adore Kelly Link, Gregory Maguire has never really rolled my socks up and down. I plowed through Wicked and Mirror, Mirror and found neither of them compelling. (on a side note, I've stopped buying extra tickets for the book-things I want to do. I feel like I have very little luck compelling people to cave to my will.)

All of my pets are being annoying (adults that can't clearly communicate their needs make me crazy, so small things that have no hope of using their words make me even crazier). I've walked, I've watered, I've tried to play.

Kickstarter campaigns are sometimes disappointing, people are disappointing, and there will always be these moments of unmitigated regret. The point is not to never be distressed, it's to learn distress tolerance, to learn how to self-soothe. And I kind of don't want to rely on anyone ever but Light, but I also have this impulse towards communication/companionship that I sometimes want to root up and sometimes want to cherish.

If my goddamn feet hadn't collapsed on me a couple years ago, today would be a day for stompy boots. I don't like this feeling of dwelling upon things that I can't fix. I have my charming gchat conversations and between that and a handful of people, I should be fine. Last night, Light and I were walking back to the car from a study date, and I had decided to steer the conversation without any subtlty into an opportunity to say "I'm awesome." And Light replied I was, and I asked why more people didn't notice my awesomeness.

And of course, you all do, and I suspect the ones not reading are the ones not noticing my awesomeness. On that note, I'm send out Adrienne Rich poems. Sing out if you want one.

Light's got a deadline, and so will probably be late at work, so I'm at loose ends for quite a bit of the evening. cleaning, then bus, then Kelly Link, then more bus, then home, then more cleaning.

"I wish peace of mind was something I could steal"

I'm having a grrr sort of day. Yesterday, I pulled off a miraculous thing and today my boss praised me for it, and somehow I wanted something more than that and I don't know what it is and it's making me fussy.

I have a ticket to go to at the Brattle tonight that I'm not feeling super-motivated about. I think it's possibly because while I adore Kelly Link, Gregory Maguire has never really rolled my socks up and down. I plowed through Wicked and Mirror, Mirror and found neither of them compelling. (on a side note, I've stopped buying extra tickets for the book-things I want to do. I feel like I have very little luck compelling people to cave to my will.)

All of my pets are being annoying (adults that can't clearly communicate their needs make me crazy, so small things that have no hope of using their words make me even crazier). I've walked, I've watered, I've tried to play.

Kickstarter campaigns are sometimes disappointing, people are disappointing, and there will always be these moments of unmitigated regret. The point is not to never be distressed, it's to learn distress tolerance, to learn how to self-soothe. And I kind of don't want to rely on anyone ever but Light, but I also have this impulse towards communication/companionship that I sometimes want to root up and sometimes want to cherish.

If my goddamn feet hadn't collapsed on me a couple years ago, today would be a day for stompy boots. I don't like this feeling of dwelling upon things that I can't fix. I have my charming gchat conversations and between that and a handful of people, I should be fine. Last night, Light and I were walking back to the car from a study date, and I had decided to steer the conversation without any subtlty into an opportunity to say "I'm awesome." And Light replied I was, and I asked why more people didn't notice my awesomeness.

And of course, you all do, and I suspect the ones not reading are the ones not noticing my awesomeness. On that note, I'm send out Adrienne Rich poems. Sing out if you want one.

Light's got a deadline, and so will probably be late at work, so I'm at loose ends for quite a bit of the evening. cleaning, then bus, then Kelly Link, then more bus, then home, then more cleaning.