"cast these doubts out"

I feel persistently not cool enough, and I'm beginning to wonder if other people feel this way, and if so, how they handle it, if everyone occasionally sees the world as an endless string of things they they aren't invited to, (or wouldn't know how to enjoy it if they were) injokes they don't get, histories they don't share.

I am proud of much of my life. I have collected a rockstar set of friends and chosen family, and married the awesomest person I know. I have excellent taste in music and food, and charmingly omnivorous taste in movies and books. I have a welcoming house and I can cook a mean vegetarian feast. I have a funny looking little dog, four cats who own me and over 1K of books in my librarything.

I try to live my ideals, put my money where my mouth is, and be brave even when I'm daunted, I try to keep my heart and my door open to those I love.

Some invites won't be accepted, or even rsvp'd. There won't always be something there when I reach out. I'm not certain why this is such a hard to learn lesson, why it feels so much like failure to not spark interest in those who interest me, why I can hear the edge of neediness in my voice when I talk.

I will always still have killer tats, a wicked deadpan, and a sense of whimsy when supplied with dessert toppings. In the ways that I am lucky, I am very lucky.

In other news, last night Edie Carey, Elena Arian, Natalie Zuckerman, Susan Werner, Catie Curtis and Rose Cousins were all on stage. Holy crap the Boston music scene rocks.

"cast these doubts out"

I feel persistently not cool enough, and I'm beginning to wonder if other people feel this way, and if so, how they handle it, if everyone occasionally sees the world as an endless string of things they they aren't invited to, (or wouldn't know how to enjoy it if they were) injokes they don't get, histories they don't share.

I am proud of much of my life. I have collected a rockstar set of friends and chosen family, and married the awesomest person I know. I have excellent taste in music and food, and charmingly omnivorous taste in movies and books. I have a welcoming house and I can cook a mean vegetarian feast. I have a funny looking little dog, four cats who own me and over 1K of books in my librarything.

I try to live my ideals, put my money where my mouth is, and be brave even when I'm daunted, I try to keep my heart and my door open to those I love.

Some invites won't be accepted, or even rsvp'd. There won't always be something there when I reach out. I'm not certain why this is such a hard to learn lesson, why it feels so much like failure to not spark interest in those who interest me, why I can hear the edge of neediness in my voice when I talk.

I will always still have killer tats, a wicked deadpan, and a sense of whimsy when supplied with dessert toppings. In the ways that I am lucky, I am very lucky.

In other news, last night Edie Carey, Elena Arian, Natalie Zuckerman, Susan Werner, Catie Curtis and Rose Cousins were all on stage. Holy crap the Boston music scene rocks.