(no subject)

I skipped a number of days of gratitudes, and it feels to daunting to catch up, to not repeat myself.

I'm grateful for orthopedic shoes, gail carringer, sobriety, Vin Diesel, and literacy. The horrible background music in my trashy television shows, that I can afford to heat my house, club passim, that I have any distress tolerance at all, and my sodastream. Burts Bees lip balm, my tomato sauce, public transit, the color purple and Lush glitterbugs. That sometimes I outsmart myself, good hugs, mind-blowing marital sex, steamed milk, and really good friends. Getting competent nurses for my blood draw, my cuecat, that I've got a roster of cakes to cook, petfinder and the first three seasons of West Wing.

T and I have parted ways. I initiated it, I feel like an ass, but I don't regret doing it. Everything I say, even to myself, sounds like a cliche, but we did want different things, and in different ways, and I didn't want to be the person I thought she wanted me to be. It's awkward, and uncomfortable and I think I'm going to keep asking Light over and over again if I'm a bad person, and dumping isn't a skill I want to acquire any more than I want to learn how to be dumped.

I got a lot of fun things for my birthday, including the promise of yet another Squishable to add to my cabal. I went to an awkward but interesting meeting, which made me rethink and redefine whether or not I considered the project of volunteering for the con a success (I had previously thought it was not. I am now less certain of that.) I had a really, really lovely evening with Purple and her family (clan?). I currently have a cat curled up on my feet, my little brother bought me the xbox release of You Don't Know Jack and tomorrow Light and I are going to exchange fancy candy bars. I had a good conversation with my little brother's girlfriend, and I think we might even all go bowling together.

There are some things I wish were playing out, had played out, differently, but I'm actually pretty interested in the project of being me at the moment. There are neat things yet to do, a class I'm going to start taking, a dog I'm going to adopt, good people in my life, and a really, really big reading list.

(no subject)

I skipped a number of days of gratitudes, and it feels to daunting to catch up, to not repeat myself.

I'm grateful for orthopedic shoes, gail carringer, sobriety, Vin Diesel, and literacy. The horrible background music in my trashy television shows, that I can afford to heat my house, club passim, that I have any distress tolerance at all, and my sodastream. Burts Bees lip balm, my tomato sauce, public transit, the color purple and Lush glitterbugs. That sometimes I outsmart myself, good hugs, mind-blowing marital sex, steamed milk, and really good friends. Getting competent nurses for my blood draw, my cuecat, that I've got a roster of cakes to cook, petfinder and the first three seasons of West Wing.

T and I have parted ways. I initiated it, I feel like an ass, but I don't regret doing it. Everything I say, even to myself, sounds like a cliche, but we did want different things, and in different ways, and I didn't want to be the person I thought she wanted me to be. It's awkward, and uncomfortable and I think I'm going to keep asking Light over and over again if I'm a bad person, and dumping isn't a skill I want to acquire any more than I want to learn how to be dumped.

I got a lot of fun things for my birthday, including the promise of yet another Squishable to add to my cabal. I went to an awkward but interesting meeting, which made me rethink and redefine whether or not I considered the project of volunteering for the con a success (I had previously thought it was not. I am now less certain of that.) I had a really, really lovely evening with Purple and her family (clan?). I currently have a cat curled up on my feet, my little brother bought me the xbox release of You Don't Know Jack and tomorrow Light and I are going to exchange fancy candy bars. I had a good conversation with my little brother's girlfriend, and I think we might even all go bowling together.

There are some things I wish were playing out, had played out, differently, but I'm actually pretty interested in the project of being me at the moment. There are neat things yet to do, a class I'm going to start taking, a dog I'm going to adopt, good people in my life, and a really, really big reading list.