(no subject)

Home again. Weirdly tired, anxious about going to work tomorrow, feeling like there's something left undone but I can't figure out what.

It's been a whirlwind of a holiday.

12/18 - the season begins with the illuminations tour
12/19 - fake xmas with my parents
12/20 - mammogram
12/24 - fly to wisconsin
12/25, 12/26 - be in wisconsin
12/27 - flying out of wisconsin impossible, Light rents car.
12/27,12/28 - we drive from milwaukee to somerville
12/29 - I meet Light's shrink, then we eat at Journeyman
12/30 - clean house All Day, bake magical pound cake, game night
12/31 - slow morning, grocery shop, bake, fall assleep watching die hard
1/1 - go to Porter Square book sale, drive out to Shelburne Falls, get to concert late, sit behind unruly children, cry from frustration.
1/2 - drive home, do a lot of laundry and a lot of Arisia business.

I think I have plans for the new year, and some of them are vague and some of them are as simple as "buy a filing cabinet" and I don't think I've got the stamina right now to have a crisis of faith about my agnosticism, but I'm pretty sure one is coming down the pike even if I don't.

I want to be calm, I want to be busy, I want to be surrounded by people I love, I want to have more solitude. I want to have grand plans, or maybe a master's degree, or maybe just the ability to cook very fancy cakes. I'm turning in a couple weeks, which feels like it should mean something, but I don't know what.

I'm working on it, which I guess is pretty much the best I can ask.

(no subject)

Home again. Weirdly tired, anxious about going to work tomorrow, feeling like there's something left undone but I can't figure out what.

It's been a whirlwind of a holiday.

12/18 - the season begins with the illuminations tour
12/19 - fake xmas with my parents
12/20 - mammogram
12/24 - fly to wisconsin
12/25, 12/26 - be in wisconsin
12/27 - flying out of wisconsin impossible, Light rents car.
12/27,12/28 - we drive from milwaukee to somerville
12/29 - I meet Light's shrink, then we eat at Journeyman
12/30 - clean house All Day, bake magical pound cake, game night
12/31 - slow morning, grocery shop, bake, fall assleep watching die hard
1/1 - go to Porter Square book sale, drive out to Shelburne Falls, get to concert late, sit behind unruly children, cry from frustration.
1/2 - drive home, do a lot of laundry and a lot of Arisia business.

I think I have plans for the new year, and some of them are vague and some of them are as simple as "buy a filing cabinet" and I don't think I've got the stamina right now to have a crisis of faith about my agnosticism, but I'm pretty sure one is coming down the pike even if I don't.

I want to be calm, I want to be busy, I want to be surrounded by people I love, I want to have more solitude. I want to have grand plans, or maybe a master's degree, or maybe just the ability to cook very fancy cakes. I'm turning in a couple weeks, which feels like it should mean something, but I don't know what.

I'm working on it, which I guess is pretty much the best I can ask.