(no subject)

One of the fun side effect of the increase in my Celexa dosage has been long, exhausting dreams with narratives that tend to be fairly entertaining when I wake up.

Examples include a dream of putting on an agatha christie play in my basement, with one of the characters being played by all three of my cats reluctantly working together. I'm inclined to believe it was Murder on the Orient Express, because I remember a train being present. Another dream involved me divorcing someone, but not Light, and no one would tell me whom and everyone thought it was very funny I didn't know. And of course, there are subplots and strange characters and quests akin to poorly thought out video games.

Last night, however, I made out with someone in my dream.

The dream involved going to my college reunion (a thing that may or may not happen in two months), but in addition to Light, my little brothers and a handful of people I knew in college, Hands was there. We went on some very obvious first-date sort of activity, complete with hand-holding, and when it got to the kissing part, he insisted I get a permission slip from Light. I had the permission slip already, and was trying to convince him that I could have just forged it. He insisted I wouldn't do that, and I was trying to explain I hadn't, but that didn't mean I wouldn't if it meant getting to kiss him.

And then there was a lot of making out. And in the morning, I confessed to Light pretty much as soon as the alarm went off, and I still feel a little bit guilty. I'm pretty sure the guilt comes from exactly how much fun I had in the dream.

Today I've been thinking a lot about crushes, and first kisses, and girls, and boys.

I don't really have any crushes these days. I've got my teeny crush on Hips, and my faded couple-crush on my exboss and her husband, and occasionally I think lecherous thoughts about women on public transit, but other than that, nothing. And I don't think it's a function of my long-term monogamy, but maybe it is. I miss having crushes, though. This is a thing I shall think on, rather than dwelling on the multitudinous ick of my doctor's appointment.

(no subject)

One of the fun side effect of the increase in my Celexa dosage has been long, exhausting dreams with narratives that tend to be fairly entertaining when I wake up.

Examples include a dream of putting on an agatha christie play in my basement, with one of the characters being played by all three of my cats reluctantly working together. I'm inclined to believe it was Murder on the Orient Express, because I remember a train being present. Another dream involved me divorcing someone, but not Light, and no one would tell me whom and everyone thought it was very funny I didn't know. And of course, there are subplots and strange characters and quests akin to poorly thought out video games.

Last night, however, I made out with someone in my dream.

The dream involved going to my college reunion (a thing that may or may not happen in two months), but in addition to Light, my little brothers and a handful of people I knew in college, Hands was there. We went on some very obvious first-date sort of activity, complete with hand-holding, and when it got to the kissing part, he insisted I get a permission slip from Light. I had the permission slip already, and was trying to convince him that I could have just forged it. He insisted I wouldn't do that, and I was trying to explain I hadn't, but that didn't mean I wouldn't if it meant getting to kiss him.

And then there was a lot of making out. And in the morning, I confessed to Light pretty much as soon as the alarm went off, and I still feel a little bit guilty. I'm pretty sure the guilt comes from exactly how much fun I had in the dream.

Today I've been thinking a lot about crushes, and first kisses, and girls, and boys.

I don't really have any crushes these days. I've got my teeny crush on Hips, and my faded couple-crush on my exboss and her husband, and occasionally I think lecherous thoughts about women on public transit, but other than that, nothing. And I don't think it's a function of my long-term monogamy, but maybe it is. I miss having crushes, though. This is a thing I shall think on, rather than dwelling on the multitudinous ick of my doctor's appointment.