(no subject)

The weekend was mostly lovely, with a truly horrific part

In the past, I feel like I've dealt with things that have challenged my coping skills by retreating to a lower level of functionality, but still remaining fairly even keeled at that lower level. Not so much these days, where I seem to ricochet like a pinball with an intermittent relationship with gravity from fine to abject despair. Sunday morning was one of those low points. We'd spent the night in the Northampton house, for what I'm pretty sure was the first time since we'd moved out in September. It was dark-dark at night, and our wind chimes were chiming, and in the morning there were birds that weren't the random outofplace gulls that have been waking me for the past half a year. I was surrounded by my books, and everything smelled right, I lost it, and sobbed to the point of choking myself. But, eventually I reined it all back under control and put the brave face back on. Eventually, the reward will almost certainly equal the risk, it's just not right now. In a decade or so, I will consider this a year I handled as well as I could, and just a rocky transition to someplace awesome.

That said, the weekend contained a lazy morning, scones with Unexpected and her fantastic girlfriend, really good pasta, really good conversation, some Rock Band, a lovely brunch with the densest possible food, some lovely people at a new restaurant, a good drive home and then some comfy social tv-watching.

Yesterday, I visited my mother, who has decided that my lack of a stash is a problem and bought me a (to-me) alarming amount of yarn. We were sucked in by the band-ball patterns, and after this hat is done, there will be place mats and tea-cozies galore. Also, we bought some acid-free storage boxes and transfered a bunch of my parents' ancient papers into them, including my great-grandfather's citation for valor in the second battle of the Marne during WWI, and something from the late 1600s. The scope of this project simultaneously overwhelms and thrills me.

Also, my dentist office called me up and offered me a receptionist job, out of the blue. I was startled, and insanely flattered, and said I'd definitely think about it. On the one hand, job. On the other hand, I don't really think that I want to be a receptionist in a small dentist office full time. It feels weird to turn down such a friendly and flattering offer, though.

Today I go to PRA and see if they have some temp work for me. If not, I'll continue volunteering and that will be equally lovely. For now, I retreat to my shockwave jigsaw.

(no subject)

The weekend was mostly lovely, with a truly horrific part

In the past, I feel like I've dealt with things that have challenged my coping skills by retreating to a lower level of functionality, but still remaining fairly even keeled at that lower level. Not so much these days, where I seem to ricochet like a pinball with an intermittent relationship with gravity from fine to abject despair. Sunday morning was one of those low points. We'd spent the night in the Northampton house, for what I'm pretty sure was the first time since we'd moved out in September. It was dark-dark at night, and our wind chimes were chiming, and in the morning there were birds that weren't the random outofplace gulls that have been waking me for the past half a year. I was surrounded by my books, and everything smelled right, I lost it, and sobbed to the point of choking myself. But, eventually I reined it all back under control and put the brave face back on. Eventually, the reward will almost certainly equal the risk, it's just not right now. In a decade or so, I will consider this a year I handled as well as I could, and just a rocky transition to someplace awesome.

That said, the weekend contained a lazy morning, scones with Unexpected and her fantastic girlfriend, really good pasta, really good conversation, some Rock Band, a lovely brunch with the densest possible food, some lovely people at a new restaurant, a good drive home and then some comfy social tv-watching.

Yesterday, I visited my mother, who has decided that my lack of a stash is a problem and bought me a (to-me) alarming amount of yarn. We were sucked in by the band-ball patterns, and after this hat is done, there will be place mats and tea-cozies galore. Also, we bought some acid-free storage boxes and transfered a bunch of my parents' ancient papers into them, including my great-grandfather's citation for valor in the second battle of the Marne during WWI, and something from the late 1600s. The scope of this project simultaneously overwhelms and thrills me.

Also, my dentist office called me up and offered me a receptionist job, out of the blue. I was startled, and insanely flattered, and said I'd definitely think about it. On the one hand, job. On the other hand, I don't really think that I want to be a receptionist in a small dentist office full time. It feels weird to turn down such a friendly and flattering offer, though.

Today I go to PRA and see if they have some temp work for me. If not, I'll continue volunteering and that will be equally lovely. For now, I retreat to my shockwave jigsaw.