uncomfortable

so, it has been a day full of stuff.

we awoke, cleaned, showered, dined at Sylvester's, found Light's mother's birthday present, bought father's day and birthday cards at Faces, stopped by the farmer's market and then by the kitchen store for a new teapot and a pepper grinder, and then Modern Myths to acquire comics.

we came home, and since my mouth still ached, i called the dentist. they could in fact see me today, so we got in the car to hurry over. On the way out of the condo's parking lot, we got into a car accident. We are both uninjured, as was the driver of the other car. I left Light with his wounded car and went to the dentist alone, in a state of mostly shock (i have no particular recollection of driving to the dentist). the dentist made me hurt and bleed a great deal, and then gave me a new and improved more painful oral care regime and a scrip for antibiotics. I returned home, just in time to see the other driver get picked up by her mom. Minutes later, our new stove arrives, 45 minutes before the estimated delivery window.

the new stove is installed, and it is beautiful, and i am giddy, but still both full of stale adrenalin and mouth pain. we proceed to finish our grocery list and head back out, in my car this time. A couple more errands, grocery shopping, then hope again and we crash.

i still want to cry, from the accident, from the dentist, from a weird conversation. i'm looking up the definitions of words like reasonable and nostalgia, 'cause the language feels awkward in my mouth, and i think it's something about planning to get married, but as i said to someone i'm filled with the desire to be loved by those who went before, or the desire to be able to believe that all the various cast of people from all the periods of my life i'm not longer inhabiting would care that i am happy now. and i love the internet, because it's allowed me to touch, however briefly, all these absolutely wonderful people and i hate the internet, for things like the ever-fought possibility of googling the names of those i ought not, and because it has shown me all these wonderful people, and i want to have them over for tea tonight and cannot, because they live in upstate new york, or various minnesotas, literal and figurative.

eventually, i'll manage to cry the tears that feel stuck in my sinuses, and settle on what book to begin next, and then i'll curl up with my wonderful wonderful beloved and sleep and tomorrow will be a new, and hopefully better day and i'll still have a new stove and plans to elope down the street. i called my aunt and uncle, and they sound unwelcoming on the phone but i think they'll be happy to see us next weekend, and there's a kris delmhorst concert and a possible whale watch and a trip to san francisco in the near near future. i think i miss my meds today, but it's been a rough day, and all i've lost is a little perspective, and there's a chance that tylenol and a course of antibiotics will bring some of that back.

uncomfortable

so, it has been a day full of stuff.

we awoke, cleaned, showered, dined at Sylvester's, found Light's mother's birthday present, bought father's day and birthday cards at Faces, stopped by the farmer's market and then by the kitchen store for a new teapot and a pepper grinder, and then Modern Myths to acquire comics.

we came home, and since my mouth still ached, i called the dentist. they could in fact see me today, so we got in the car to hurry over. On the way out of the condo's parking lot, we got into a car accident. We are both uninjured, as was the driver of the other car. I left Light with his wounded car and went to the dentist alone, in a state of mostly shock (i have no particular recollection of driving to the dentist). the dentist made me hurt and bleed a great deal, and then gave me a new and improved more painful oral care regime and a scrip for antibiotics. I returned home, just in time to see the other driver get picked up by her mom. Minutes later, our new stove arrives, 45 minutes before the estimated delivery window.

the new stove is installed, and it is beautiful, and i am giddy, but still both full of stale adrenalin and mouth pain. we proceed to finish our grocery list and head back out, in my car this time. A couple more errands, grocery shopping, then hope again and we crash.

i still want to cry, from the accident, from the dentist, from a weird conversation. i'm looking up the definitions of words like reasonable and nostalgia, 'cause the language feels awkward in my mouth, and i think it's something about planning to get married, but as i said to someone i'm filled with the desire to be loved by those who went before, or the desire to be able to believe that all the various cast of people from all the periods of my life i'm not longer inhabiting would care that i am happy now. and i love the internet, because it's allowed me to touch, however briefly, all these absolutely wonderful people and i hate the internet, for things like the ever-fought possibility of googling the names of those i ought not, and because it has shown me all these wonderful people, and i want to have them over for tea tonight and cannot, because they live in upstate new york, or various minnesotas, literal and figurative.

eventually, i'll manage to cry the tears that feel stuck in my sinuses, and settle on what book to begin next, and then i'll curl up with my wonderful wonderful beloved and sleep and tomorrow will be a new, and hopefully better day and i'll still have a new stove and plans to elope down the street. i called my aunt and uncle, and they sound unwelcoming on the phone but i think they'll be happy to see us next weekend, and there's a kris delmhorst concert and a possible whale watch and a trip to san francisco in the near near future. i think i miss my meds today, but it's been a rough day, and all i've lost is a little perspective, and there's a chance that tylenol and a course of antibiotics will bring some of that back.