"which i believe just signifies i'm finally waking up"

no daffodils yesterday, but an insanely bad headache instead. it's back again today, i can feel it building. it's some strange combination of nausea, vertigo and pain, and though i need to get my new prescription filled, it doesn't feel eyesight related. i'm not sure what it could be, since i'm done with the antibiotics, and my caffeine intake is par for the course. work is horrible, but it normally just makes my stomach hurt, it doesn't give me headaches and nausea.

went to the obgyn today. we're going to try for an IUD. a merina, specifically, which will apparently bombard my uterus directly with the appropriate hormones. finally, sweet sterility, you loom on the horizon. it's been a bit of a struggle, since no obgyn wants to sterilize someone my age, by intention or by accident. (the iud won't sterilize me, but if i do get an infection, it may render me infertile, and it took a while to convince her to even take that chance).

and last night, words past kind or sweet into something else entirely, like being filled with moths, or a perfectly resonant note, and this is why i call him light, because the sensation is pretty much exactly what i imagine my cat feels, curled up in the sunlight on my bed, except better, more tangible even than that and a smile i couldn't contain if i tried follows me into my sleep. i'm living my own fairytale, and no matter how sad i get at the end of the weekend, when the immediate pain clears, i can remember that.

"which i believe just signifies i'm finally waking up"

no daffodils yesterday, but an insanely bad headache instead. it's back again today, i can feel it building. it's some strange combination of nausea, vertigo and pain, and though i need to get my new prescription filled, it doesn't feel eyesight related. i'm not sure what it could be, since i'm done with the antibiotics, and my caffeine intake is par for the course. work is horrible, but it normally just makes my stomach hurt, it doesn't give me headaches and nausea.

went to the obgyn today. we're going to try for an IUD. a merina, specifically, which will apparently bombard my uterus directly with the appropriate hormones. finally, sweet sterility, you loom on the horizon. it's been a bit of a struggle, since no obgyn wants to sterilize someone my age, by intention or by accident. (the iud won't sterilize me, but if i do get an infection, it may render me infertile, and it took a while to convince her to even take that chance).

and last night, words past kind or sweet into something else entirely, like being filled with moths, or a perfectly resonant note, and this is why i call him light, because the sensation is pretty much exactly what i imagine my cat feels, curled up in the sunlight on my bed, except better, more tangible even than that and a smile i couldn't contain if i tried follows me into my sleep. i'm living my own fairytale, and no matter how sad i get at the end of the weekend, when the immediate pain clears, i can remember that.