Mar. 28th, 2017


Mar. 28th, 2017 09:17 pm
omnia_mutantur: (Default)
Why is it so hard to write some days?   I've been shit at even keeping my own journal, unwilling to look at anything with too much focus, instead playing picross and petting cats and crying.   So much crying.

Today was therapy, which involved crying about Tank, and how my regularly scheduled Wednesdays with him are over, and exactly how unfriendly his mom is (I thought this was going to be my last week with him, but at the end of my visit last week she informed me that that they had other plans this week).   And I wondered how Tank's mom (my sister-in-law) had turned into my parents in my head and all I want to know is what I did wrong and how I can change so that they/she'll like me and stop cutting my access off to something I want.

I don't know how people do this.  I can draw a line in the sand, tell her that I don't appreciate this, but then I'm even less likely to get access to my nephew.  I can just give up, stop seeing my nephew and I will pine so very, very much, but eventually there will be an end to the pining.  I can chase my little brother, nag him into the occasional weekend date with him and my nephew (and maybe my niece and maybe sister-in-law). Now, it's not that I think it's somehow my sister-in-law's fault, and not my baby brother's.  It's his too, all of his excuses about her being an ass involve explanations about motherhood. 

I'm off to a tropical island at the end of this week, and hopefully some quality time stalking sea turtles will even me out a little bit, and then I'll be able to start thinking about what I'm feeling again, and quit my job, and take up hobbies and get a dog.   So, you know.  Things.  


omnia_mutantur: (Default)

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