I've been keeping a daily journal again, google docs that Abundance reads and can comment upon. And I think this is part of why I’m finding it uncomfortable to figure out how to talk on livejournal, why the voice that composes and (roughly) anonymizes, the voice that distances, gives usenames, the voice that tries to do whatever it is I'm trying to do out here on the internet are rusty.( Kink vaguely discussed )
But I’ve got a giant mug of DavidsTea’s Salted Caramel tea, a snow day (even if there’s no snow yet), two still-sleeping partners and a SkitteryPoof of a cat that just helped me answer the eternal question of “does tea taste better when a cat dips her tail in it?”.
And I want to tell you about my mug, because it’s amazing and Hips got it for me at an artist convention she goes to and it’s covered in happy monsters. And I want to tell you about how even if there’s no snow yet, there’s this feeling of anticipation, that the awful neighbors’ windchimes are whipping about in the wind, and the flashy blue light (that tells residents an Official Snow Emergency has been declared (so you can’t park on one side of the street) is on.
And I want to tell you about all the things I’ve been thinking about or struggling with. Like what appears to be so, so many people, I’m sad and frustrated and I want to Do Something. But I don’t know what that something is, and I’ve been letting myself off the hook from standing protests (oh! The orthopedist said it was a bad bone bruise and a sprained ligament, and that in another month I should be mostly back to fully functional knee, which is awesome. Someday I’ll need to unpack why exactly it feels like if it’s not serious, I should have known and not gone to the doctor.) and I’ve signed up for monthly donations (Light and I gave each other a $100 a month budget for charities and a $50 a month budget for Patreon for the winter holidays) and that’s important to me and I want to talk about it, the causes I chose, why it’s important to me to support creators and educators in lots of different spheres, but I choke myself, feeling like i’m not doing enough with my privilege and feeling like my feelings of inadequacy about creating or educating are old news.
But instead, I’m going to solve my problem of what to post by reviewing one of my January books.