Jan. 25th, 2017

omnia_mutantur: (Default)
 I feel so much embarrassment, so much shame about how easily derailed I can get.  (so of course, I'm going to talk about it on social media).

Spent the morning with Tank, going to a music class and eating lunch and playing tracks and trying to come up with a good, not-scary reason that weeeo-weeeo's (anything with a siren)  go to peoples' houses.

Delight im'd me to tell me we couldn't have a work from home date on Friday and all of a sudden I want nothing more than to sit on my couch and sulk for the rest of the day.  

But I drove home, cleaned the debris out of the car, made myself a sandwich and am now staring at a house blankly.  I have plans, so many plans.  I need (want?) to clean before Light's gaming group comes over tomorrow, I want to make apple curry soup and something we've affectionately dubbed Mexican mess.  I want to accomplish something, but I don't know what that isand the rest of me just wants to turn the electric blanket on high and crawl into bed and stay there until I feel like coming out (or until I have to go to work tomorrow morning).  

And speaking of shame, tomorrow i've got a dentist appointment, and I may not go into the full frozen state of a panic attack  whenever I taste blood, but I have bad teeth.  I have the teeth of someone who drank too much coffee, smoked, threw up too often.  I don't like the story my teeth tell, I feel strangely like it's some extra avenue of fat-shaming, if I had better eating habits I'd be skinnier and have fewer cavities.    If if if.


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